


Fated

by Haelstrom



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awkwardness, Childhood Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fantasy elements, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Angst, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-08-18 20:29:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16524086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haelstrom/pseuds/Haelstrom
Summary: It was Sasuke’s eighteenth birthday when his world fell apart.  It was a monumental birthday, one where he essentially came of age and, in his family, when the path for his future would be partially revealed.  He was an Uchiha, and on their eighteenth birthday, all Uchihas found out who their soulmates were.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real attempt at any kind of world building, so it may be rocky. Forgive me. More tags will be added as I go along. I don't plan on this being super long, and the updates will be around once a week. Mainly a soulmate AU. Happy reading!

 

It was Sasuke’s eighteenth birthday when his world fell apart.It was a monumental birthday, a birthday where he essentially came of age and, in his family, when the path for his future would be partially revealed.He was an Uchiha, and on their eighteenth birthday, all Uchihas found out who their soulmates were.

In his family, every person born was a reincarnated version of themselves from a past life. So on their eighteenth birthday, every detail of an Uchiha’s past lives would be revealed.It varied how many past lives each one of them had lived, but however many, each person relived each life on this day.The memories came in the form of dreams, and they started at midnight, the first official minute of their birthday, and lasted however many hours it took.They all went to sleep, knowing that when they woke up, they would know everything about who they had ever been.

It was in these dreams that their soulmates were revealed.In their very first life, every Uchiha was destined to meet their soulmate and bond themselves together using a special ceremony.Of course, most of them looked forward to this night, impatiently waiting to finding out the person their soul was bound to. They married themselves for eternity, and every reincarnation of themselves after that, the tradition passed down along the Uchiha family line.

Sasuke was no different from any other person in his family.It was the night before his birthday, and everyone was over to celebrate.On this particular birthday, it was customary to celebrate the day before, to give the lucky person time to finish their dreams, and give them time to bask in the revelation of them.So Sasuke sat, with the vast majority of his family, eating and listening to stories of how each adult had found their soulmate, if they had.

Although tonight Sasuke would learn who his soulmate was, he still had to literally find them, because they were born without their past memories as well.It was up to him to seek out his soulmate and reveal their own past lives to them.Every Uchiha had this power, that when they met their soulmate, they could look into their eyes and play the memories they themselves had experienced at eighteen.

Sasuke’s eyes flicked to his great uncle Madara, socializing across the room with Fugaku. Everyone in his family knew that Madara was without his soulmate, though some of them speculated that he actually had found them.That he knew who his soulmate was, but had chosen not to reveal their shared history.Sasuke couldn’t remember hearing of anyone else choosing not to immediately reveal their memories to their soulmate.

Although all of them risked never finding their true love, it was almost unheard of.This fact alone made Sasuke think maybe Madara _was_ choosing not to claim his soulmate.He had never revealed who it was, of course.A lot of them didn’t until they had found them, but everyone knew that this mystery person existed.

Sasuke’s next thought was of Itachi.His brother was 22 and had not found his soulmate though Sasuke knew he had been searching.Sasuke hoped more than anything that he would be able to find his soulmate, that he wouldn’t have to spend his whole life looking for the one person who was supposed to be able to understand him better than anyone else.

 

The party had been going on for most of the night, and it was nearing ten o’clock.Sasuke knew his family would all be gone much before midnight, so he could be fully prepared to fall asleep.His body would not allow him to wake up until all of his memories had been revealed, and tomorrow no one would disturb him because even after he woke up, it was expected that he would want to have time to himself to absorb everything.

“Thinking hard?”Sasuke jerked his eyes up to Itachi, who was smiling down at him.He must have been completely lost in his thoughts to not notice his approach.

“Yeah, wouldn’t you be?” Sasuke said, regretting how defensive he sounded.

“I would be and I was.Don’t worry little brother.I’m sure you chose well in your first life.”Sasuke knew Itachi was trying to reassure him, but he couldn’t help but worry about who his soulmate was. What if he had bound his soul to the wrong person? If that could even happen. Or what if he really couldn’t find them?

It was an unofficial rule that they were normally close by.The soul bond generally kept your mate close, as in, not thousands of miles away.Still, Sasuke would worry, and hopefully be relieved come tomorrow morning.

 

When it was finally eleven o’clock, Madara was on his way out the door, and no other members of his family remained.Sasuke had managed to survive all the well wishes as everyone left, but his stomach remained twisted up with nerves.

“Sasuke, why don’t you go get ready for bed honey.We’ll all come up to wish you goodnight,” his mom said, carrying empty food bowls back from the dining room.He could hear Itachi and Fugaku talking in the kitchen already and decided they could clean without his help.

He climbed the stairs to his room and got ready for bed.The whole time trying to picture his soulmate, thinking about their personality, and wondering if he really did choose correctly in his first life.

At half past eleven, Mikoto was knocking on his door.

“You all ready Sasuke?” She said, his dad and Itachi following her in.He surely was past the age of needing to be put to bed, but this was a big night in his life.He was already under the covers, his heart beating abnormally fast, when his mom sat on the edge of his bed, patting his leg.

“No matter what happens, we’re all here for you.Don’t forget that, Sasuke.We won’t pressure you to tell us anything, but we will always be here to listen.Your father and I love you,” his mom kissed his forehead, something she rarely did anymore, before she left with his dad.As soon as they left, Itachi sat in the spot his mom had just vacated.

“I know you’re still worrying, I can see it on your face,” Itachi smiled.

“I can’t just not, Itachi.This is so important, and I’m..scared.”Itachi was the only one that Sasuke felt he could talk to about his feelings even if he still withheld most of them. 

“It’s okay to feel that way, Sasuke.If you still feel similarly tomorrow, I will do whatever I can to help you.”

“I guess I just doubt myself, that I will be able to find them, and that I chose right.”

“I have faith in you little brother,” Itachi said, smirking.Sasuke could see the open honesty his brother spoke with shining in his eyes.Sasuke just kept his gaze, trying to let his brother believing in him be enough to calm his nerves.After a quiet minute, Itachi got up to leave him alone.“You want the light off?” He said, standing in the doorway.

“Please.” Sasuke laid down and pulled the covers up, feeling tired despite his nervous excitement. He promised himself, whatever he faced tomorrow, the worst that could happen would be a lifetime of loneliness.Comforting.

 

_The first thing Sasuke notices is that it feels like he’s standing in a movie, but just on the outside, not really there, almost like he’s separated by a film.Like he’s there, watching whatever is happening through his own eyes except he’s just a passenger.He can’t control himself, all he can do is sit back and experience and feel._

_Sasuke hears himself gasp and looks up into the most radiantly goofy smile he’s ever seen.The smile was moving now, talking, and talking, blue eyes not hiding a single shred of the feelings just behind them.Messy blond hair and a gravelly voice, even when the boy laughed._

_“Come on Sasuke, lets go!” He heard before his hand was grabbed, and he was tugged wherever the small blond was leading him._

 

_Then he was watching the boy from afar, surrounded by a group of kids, seemingly getting picked on.Sasuke could hear lots of yelling before one of the kids pushed the blond and he fell.He heard himself yell now._

_“Hey! Leave him alone,” and he was charging forward and_ fighting _.The kids were running away, and the boy was sitting on the ground wiping his tears fast and pretending he wasn’t crying.Sasuke’s hand stuck out and picked him up.“Don’t let them see you cry, okay.”_

 

_The blond’s in front of him next, breathing heavy, in a defensive stance.They were fighting, but…not fighting, just sparring.Not many hits later and Sasuke was on his butt, this time being picked up by the boy._

_“Thanks for teaching me to fight Sasuke.You’re the best.”_

 

_It was years later and Sasuke was in a school, it looked like a cafeteria, his lunch was in front of him. He was surrounded by girls, all talking, giving him their attention.His eyes were searching, and there walking toward him, the blond.But his face fell when he saw Sasuke and he turned on his heel, sitting at another table.Sasuke was disappointed._

 

_Not much later this time.He was outside, in the rain and in the dark, but the boy was in front of him.Crying._

_“I just can’t take it anymore, Sasuke.I see all the girls.I know I’m loud and obnoxious and I have to try so hard to understand things. I’m no match for how perfect you are, but when we’re together, I feel so right.I’m sorry…I just can’t hold it in anymore. I—I love you Sasuke.”The blond looked up, his tears mixing with the water already dripping down his face.His blue eyes were striking, raw emotion pouring from them, so much pain Sasuke could feel it in his own chest.He surged forward and wrapped his arms around the blond._

_“I love you, too. I think I always have.”_

_Now they were both crying._

 

_His body was on fire.His mouth was moving frantically against the blond’s, and he could feel fingers everywhere against his skin.His own hands were wandering, lingering in the places that made the blond moan into his mouth.They tumbled down onto his bed, shedding clothes as they went, electricity traveling everywhere their bare skin touched._

_He cried out when they joined together, his body shuddering, but warm from the skin sliding against his._

_“Look into my eyes, please.I have to see your eyes,” Sasuke wailed, his breath catching when blue eyes bored into his soul._

_“I love you Sas.I will for all eternity,” he heard the blond say, and then pleasure was crashing over Sasuke’s body._

 

_“I promise to love you for the rest of this life and all the ones that come after.I will never end my search for you.My soul will yearn for yours always.My mate you will be, until the end of eternity,” Sasuke heard himself say, emotion thickening his voice.Tears coated his cheeks when the words were returned, his chest feeling impossibly light._

 

_Sasuke felt his heart wrench before his eyes could even take in what was in front of him.He was laying in a bed, and the man sat beside him, Sasuke’s hand gripped tightly in his.Tears were pouring from his eyes, unintelligible words leaving his lips.He wasn’t blond anymore._

_“Don’t cry.It’s only for a short while, I promise.I will always find you.My soul cannot bear to be without yours.”Bleary blue eyes met his, but his vision blurred.“I love you,” he heard himself whisper, and his hand was squeezed impossibly tight._

_“I love you too,” was the last thing he heard, the voice laden with pain._

 

The second Sasuke felt himself shaking off sleep, he felt hurt deep in his heart.Tears were coating his cheeks, his hand was squeezing onto nothing.It took him a minute to realize that he was no longer stuck, unable to control his own body.

His eyes snapped open and he sat straight up in his bed.

“Naruto,” he cried, sobs spilling from his lips.The pain was subsiding from his chest, but the memory of the desperation in Naruto’s eyes was burned into him.He clutched his chest, and took deep breaths, trying to get the feeling to pass.

Naruto.His Naruto.His blond haired blue eyed soulmate that was _already his best friend._

And he thought he’d have a hard time finding his soulmate.He’d been in his life almost right from the very beginning.He and Naruto had been best friends since elementary school, and he never would have thought.No wonder Sasuke had felt so drawn to him.

Now he had to try and think of a way to tell him, or show him really.Sasuke found himself playing through all the memories he had of Naruto from this life.Naruto’s feelings never seemed to go past best friendship.

Not to mention that he’d only chosen Naruto ONE lifetime ago.He felt the self mistrust from yesterday creeping back into his head.Only one previous life they’d been able to live side by side.What if…maybe he didn’t have to show him right away.

Maybe…Sasuke could wait and see if Naruto could develop feelings for him without having to show him his memories.It felt like giving Naruto more of a chance of free will, a chance to choose for himself.

Sasuke totally ignored all the self provided reasons against such a plan.Surely it wasn’t selfish to want Naruto to choose him again.He’d eventually show Naruto, no big deal.

Right…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully nothing was too confusing... I tried to use italics like normal for emphasis but also for the memories. The memories part started off with them as kids and ended with them at the end of their life in case that was unclear. If anything is just awfully confusing, please let me know! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! :)


	2. Birthday Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We meet Naruto in this chapter, yay! No but really I feel like this chapter is kinda boring, but I couldn't find a good place to cut off for the next one. Unbeta'd so please forgive my mistakes.

It didn’t take long for panic to set in for Sasuke.This was only his second life, and sure, there was no set time between each one, but two seemed like an awfully small number.He couldn’t recall anyone in his family having so few lives.

He felt sure of his decision to not immediately show Naruto their shared memories until he thought about facing him again.He had plans to have a birthday dinner with Naruto’s family later that day, and he could have kicked himself for ever agreeing to such a thing.He should have known he’d need time to himself.

Now he’d have to face Naruto, knowing that he was his soulmate.He’d have to feel all the time only Sasuke knew they had shared, bottle up all the love they’d grown and nurtured between them.Sasuke knew he could never look at Naruto the same way again, he was too aware of their history, his heart felt too full and too raw with intimacy.

But he had hope that maybe Naruto had feelings in this life that he had yet to show Sasuke.Naruto’s soul had to yearn for Sasuke’s, they knew they were bound even if Naruto and Sasuke themselves did not.He would just have to move their relationship into new territory in a subtle way and pay extra close attention to how Naruto received him.

Sasuke’s thoughts were broken when his door was slowly cracked open.He turned and met Itachi’s eyes peeking through, catching a fleeting look of remorse.

“I, uh.I was just going to check on you Sasuke.I didn’t mean to interrupt you from anything,” Itachi was whispering through the crack in the door.Sasuke felt fondness wash over him as he watched his brother look to the ground guiltily.

“It’s okay Itachi,” he said.His brother seemed to think about his next move before opening the door as little as possible and sneaking in, shutting it quietly behind him.

Their eyes met again as Itachi stood in the middle of his room.Sasuke knew he was searching his face for any emotions that might not be hidden away.He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t keep everything he was feeling out of his eyes.Itachi seemed to draw himself up before speaking.

“Naruto’s your soulmate,” was all he said.Sasuke barely managed to keep his eyes from widening comically.Itachi read him anyway, and nodded his head like he knew all along.

_“_ Itachi _how.”_

_“_ I…don’t know,” he shrugged his shoulders before he smirked, “and I doubt you want to tell him yet.”Now Sasuke couldn’t keep his shock from showing.His mouth popped open and his eyebrows jerked upward.

“What the fuck, Itachi,” was all Sasuke could think to say.

“I know you little brother, and I care about you.I hope you know that you can always trust me.”Sasuke watched Itachi’s body twitch forward, like he wanted to sit on Sasuke’s bed, but kept himself from doing so.

“I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.I have to see him later, and I just hope I can keep it together.This is only my second life, Itachi, can you believe that?It makes me feel unsure.”

“You don’t have to understand your feelings yet.Give yourself time, Sasuke.You also don’t have to go later, though I know you will.Having fewer lives means nothing unless you let it.Do you doubt that Naruto is your soulmate then?”

“No!” Sasuke said quickly.The last thing he was unsure about was the accuracy of his choice.Those insecurities were long gone.Naruto was his soulmate without a doubt or a single feeling of unhappiness.

Itachi chuckled at his reaction, “then you’ll figure it out, Sasuke.Don’t doubt yourself.”

 

Itachi’s reassurance lasted all of a few hours.Sasuke stood looking in his mirror, completely ready, on the outside at least, to go meet Naruto.It was the inside that was giving him trouble.Even when he looked at himself in the mirror, he just seemed different somehow.There was no way Naruto wouldn’t take one look at him and know something was up, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset his soulmate in any way.

Every single interaction they had would have a new deeper meaning for Sasuke, but nothing would change for Naruto.Just thinking about it made his chest ache.He heard his phone vibrate on the bed behind him, and he knew if he waited any longer, he’d definitely be late.He took a deep breath before grabbing all his things and heading out the door.

 

Sasuke knew he stood at Naruto’s front door for at least five minutes.He doubted himself almost constantly.Technically he could just show Naruto the second he saw him, but there was just some part of him that wanted Naruto to show even the tiniest sign that he liked him first.It probably wouldn’t be a good idea. 

Sasuke took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open before he could, and there stood Naruto, grinning like an idiot.

“Teme!What were you waiting for?I looked out the window and you were just standing there. Come inside,” Naruto backed up so Sasuke could walk through the door, barely having time to take a breath with all his rambling. 

The second Sasuke’s eyes landed on his smiling face, his breath caught in the back of his throat. _Naruto_.His heart was beating fast as a memory of that same smile assaulted him.

 

_“Sasuke you’re so silly,” Naruto said, smiling that ridiculous smile at him.He had Sasuke’s face trapped between his hands, his breath fanning over Sasuke’s mouth before he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.Naruto slowly sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, swiping across it with his tongue and—_

 

Sasuke’s attention snapped back to Naruto pulling him into a hug.He felt his arms wrap around his middle, his face pressed to Sasuke’s shoulder.He was a little late hugging Naruto back, and he’d missed whatever Naruto had been saying, but he managed to catch the end.

“Happy birthday, Sasuke.I’m so happy we’ve been able to spend so many birthdays together.You’re my best friend.”Sasuke felt his heart do a little flip in his chest.The contrast of the situations was almost too much, but Sasuke was stubborn.He was going to at least _try_ to give Naruto time.

“Thanks dobe,” he said, hoping the blush from the memory faded by the time he pulled away.Thankfully, Naruto almost immediately turned to lead him to the kitchen, talking again.

“Mom and dad are in here.She made a bunch of tomato stuff, ya know, cause that’s what you like.She was super excited cause you’re 18 and all, but I told her you’ve been acting stuck up and grown since we were twelve,” Naruto sent a smirk over his shoulder after his joke.

“Tch,” was all Sasuke offered, knowing it’d irritate Naruto.Sure enough, he saw him squint his eyes accusingly before he turned back around.

“Sasuke, you made it!” Kushina smiled as they rounded the corner into the kitchen, “Happy birthday!”She made her way over to hug Sasuke, and he let her, but she kept it quick for his benefit.“Did you get anything nice?”

“I got a bunch of stuff for college,” Sasuke said, smirking, “for our dorm and supplies.Lots of gift cards for food and coffee.”

“Sweet.I bet you guys are excited.I’m glad you’re both going together.Hopefully your good habits will rub off a little on Naruto,” Kushina smiled and cut her eyes at Naruto, who was steadily pretending he couldn’t hear her.

“Hmm wonder what dad’s doing,” he mumbled, and walked into the dining room.Kushina just rolled her eyes and winked at Sasuke.

“Really, I think it will be good for you two to have each other.You’re going kind of far away, it makes us parents worry, ya know.”

“I understand,” Sasuke said, inching his way toward following Naruto.He did _not_ want Kushina to get emotional.They didn’t leave for college for more than another month, and both of their mothers were getting all mushy at random moments.He and Naruto agreed that it was uncomfortable at best.

When she seemed to be done talking, Sasuke turned to follow Naruto to wherever he went.He eventually found him in the den with his dad.Both of their blond heads looked up when he walked in the room.

“Happy birthday Sasuke,” Minato said, smiling at him and ruffling his hair, which never failed to make Sasuke’s cheeks slightly pink.He would have died before letting anyone else ever do that, and somehow, miraculously, Naruto never mentioned it.

“Thank you,” Sasuke said, trying to will away his blush.

“I think dinner’s ready, dad,” Naruto said, “we can go set the table, Sasuke.”Naruto turned and walked right back into the dining room, and Sasuke rolled his eyes but followed anyway.

 

The dinner was the most satisfying Sasuke had in a long time.Kushina managed to get tomatoes into half of the things she made, and even made a dessert with fruit because she knew he didn’t like overly sweet things.

Sasuke had just opened his gift from them, a comforter set for his dorm bed and a case for his laptop.

“Naruto, why don’t you take Sasuke to your room so you can give him your gift,” Kushina grinned, and started carrying dishes into the kitchen.Sasuke glanced beside him to Naruto and noticed a look of embarrassment flicker across his face before he smiled. What was that all about?

“Yeah let’s go Sas.”Naruto got up and led them upstairs, and he made sure to shut his bedroom door behind them.Sasuke sat in Naruto’s desk chair, and watched him start digging in his closet for what he assumed was his gift.

Everything so far had gone pretty well for Sasuke although his memories made it hard to not treat Naruto as more than his best friend.He had to force himself not to stare at him, not to try and catch every facial expression he made, not to watch the way his body moved when he walked.Each time Naruto had gotten close to Sasuke, he had to resist the urge to reach for him because his body and mind couldn’t forget the intimacy they had once shared.

“You don’t have to pretend to like it, okay.You won’t hurt my feelings,” he heard Naruto say, interrupting his thoughts.He glanced up at him and took the gift he was holding out.Sasuke could see he apprehension written all over Naruto’s face and behind that, the anticipation he was trying to hide.He was _positive_ it would hurt his feelings if Sasuke didn’t like his gift.No pressure.

Sasuke looked down at the small box in his hands.It was obvious Naruto wrapped it because of the excess tape and uneven folds in the paper.The effort he’d put into it made Sasuke smile as he slid his finger along a corner and tore the gift open.The box inside was simple and unmarked, so Sasuke quickly opened that as well. 

Inside was a thin black leather bracelet that closed with a snap.He was confused at first because why would Naruto buy him a bracelet, but when he picked it up he understood.The word best was carved into the leather in the most awful handwriting, and Sasuke immediately knew that was Naruto’s too.

“Well what do ya think?” Naruto finally said, and Sasuke could tell he was going to burst if he didn’t say something.He couldn’t help but tease him.

“I already knew I was the best at everything, Naruto.You didn’t have to get me a bracelet to prove it,” he said, acting nonchalant and holding in his smile.

“Sasuke! That’s not what its for,” Naruto said, his face scrunching up in frustration.

“Oh, then what?”Sasuke slid the bracelet onto his wrist and snapped it into place.

“It’s a best friend bracelet, see!”Naruto waved his own wrist in Sasuke’s face.Sasuke snatched it out of the air and read his bracelet.Sure enough it said friends in the same ridiculous handwriting.“It even has our initials on it, near the button.”Naruto flipped his wrist over to show the S near the close of his own bracelet.

“Hn.You could have at least gotten someone else to help you so the handwriting wasn’t so messy, dobe,” Sasuke said, running his finger over the N on his own wrist.He was trying to ignore the rapid thump of his heart and the fluttering in his stomach.He’d be able to walk around with a direct connection to Naruto always with him.This was easily the best gift he’d gotten for his birthday, but he wouldn’t be telling Naruto that.

He heard Naruto gasp in front of him, and he looked up to take in his red cheeks and mouth popped open in disbelief.Then he crossed his arms and turned his face away, “well if you don’t like it.”See, hurt feelings.

“I’m just joking, dobe.It’s better cause you wrote it,” Sasuke said, his stomach feeling like it shot straight to his throat.He’d never normally admit that, but he was supposed to be trying.Naruto’s head jerked around, his expression wary.Sasuke made sure to look straight into his eyes, “thank you.”

He barely had time to prepare himself before Naruto was launching himself at him.He locked his arms around Sasuke’s neck, smiling against his skin and all but forcing Sasuke to stand up to make the position less uncomfortable.It took everything Sasuke had not to just pull Naruto into his lap and hold him.

“I’m glad you like it Sas.I made them myself,” he mumbled where his face was pressed against Sasuke’s shoulder.He sincerely hoped Naruto couldn’t feel his heart galloping in his chest.He was already fighting with himself about leaning down to sniff Naruto’s hair, and he had long since decided he would not be the one ending this hug.He had his limits after all.

“Mmmm this is nice Sas.You never let me hug you,” Naruto mumbled again.Sasuke instantly had a mini panic, but Naruto pulled away and his smile was teasing.”If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you secretly enjoyed it.”

“Good thing you never know any better then,” Sasuke grinned.Flirting was not his strong suit by any means, but he was supposed to be giving Naruto hints about his feelings.And it _was_ Naruto so hints had to be strong nudges. 

Sasuke watched confusion flash over his face before he seemed to give up.He’d surely assume he was just the butt of a joke like always.

“Okay so you have to wear it everyday now!” Naruto said, flashing Sasuke his favorite smile.

“I promise, I will,” he said, making sure to smile back.Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.He could slowly show his feelings to Naruto, and then reveal their past to him.Sasuke already knew Naruto was his soul mate, so he could stand to be a little bold.It couldn’t be that bad, surely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny angst introduced next chapter :D Also, I always imagine Itachi as just hyper aware of everything, so he always seems...cool. Anyway, comments and kudos appreciated!


	3. Moving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um maybe bigger than tiny angst. BUT necessary to the plot so...

Turns out, it could be that bad.

He and Naruto had met up at the ramen place down the street from where they lived to talk about coordinating their move into their dorm.They had barely made any progress though because Naruto was all but attached to his phone.Sasuke could hear it vibrating regularly and Naruto was grinning at it each time.

He could feel dread growing in his stomach.It hadn’t even been a week since his birthday, so he definitely hadn’t had time to put himself on Naruto’s more-than-friends radar.The more time that passed with Naruto paying almost no attention to Sasuke, the more he was convinced he really didn’t want to know who he was texting.Unfortunately Sasuke’s mind wouldn’t rest until he did.

“Naruto!” He said, his voice stiff.The blond’s head jerked up at his tone, his phone briefly forgotten.Sasuke heard the phone vibrate again, and he swore if Naruto looked down, he was going to throw it across the room.

“What Sas?”

“I don’t understand what the point of coming here was if you aren’t even going to say two words to me,” Sasuke pouted.He hated himself for that.

“Sorry, I got distracted.You remember Gaara don’t you?He graduated with us,” Naruto said, at least having the grace to sound apologetic.

“Yeah I remember him.He’s liked you since he moved here, and he’s asked you out at least ten times,” Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes at Naruto.He couldn’t be for sure, but it looked like pink dusted across his cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah I know.Uh we’re just talking that’s all,” he said, scratching the back of his neck in that Naruto way, “I thought I might at least give him that much of a chance because he’s been really nice to me and for some reason I’m attracted to guys who put off an emo aura.”Naruto narrowed his eyes back at that last part, and Sasuke pursed his lips to avoid his mouth dropping open. 

His chest felt tight at the idea of Naruto even talking to other guys that way, but at the same time, he was pretty sure there was some hint hidden in his last statement.Naruto regularly referred to him as having an emo aura.So he basically just admitted to finding Sasuke attractive, and it was a serious task to avoid letting his excitement pour out of his ears. 

Every time he was around Naruto anymore he got butterflies, and hearing him admit that he was at least attracted to Sasuke made his stomach do somersaults.He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

“Hn.I don’t like it,” Sasuke said, letting the smile linger, but crossing his arms.

“Well I’m sorry.It’s a little late for that now.We’re supposed to be going on a date next Friday,” Naruto said.Sasuke felt his smile slip away.

“But we’re leaving for college in a month Naruto.How is this a good time to start a relationship?” Sasuke was grasping at straws now.The dread was back, sinking in his stomach.

Naruto couldn’t be serious.He was going to date a guy that Sasuke had watched him deny so many times and right before they moved away?Not to mention this would completely ruin _his_ plans, but Naruto knew nothing about those.How was Sasuke supposed to watch him date someone else?He’d just realized Naruto was his soulmate, so his feelings were so strong he was all but smothered by them.

The worst part was, he knew no matter what was going on in Naruto’s life, he couldn’t bear to be away from him. So even if he did actually date Gaara, Sasuke would have no choice but to witness it first hand.It was this fact alone that made Sasuke resolve himself to try harder.

He’d never force himself on Naruto by any means, but he sure could make himself present in every part of his life.Starting with being a better best friend. It’s not like they were dating yet anyway.He still had a chance to make his feelings known.

“Well he’s going to the community college here.We wouldn’t be that far apart, besides, we’re just talking.Honestly Sasuke, why do you care so much,” Naruto said, and Sasuke could hear the tiniest bit of some negative emotion leaking into that question.He realized to Naruto, it would only seem like he was bursting his bubble.He kicked himself internally, he wasn’t very good at this whole feelings thing.

“You deserve the best that’s all,” Sasuke finally said, and Naruto frowned. 

“You act like I have a whole parade of guys knocking down my door, Sasuke.He’s giving me positive attention.I haven’t exactly had much of that.Its not like I’m the most attra—“

“Of course you are!You’re beyond attractive, so don’t say that.Literally per—ah,” Sasuke stopped, ending awkwardly.Naruto’s face was pink to his ears. _Wait to go Sasuke. What the fuck._ So much for easing into anything.He wasn’t sure why he had to be so weird.Honestly.“I mean you’re attractive, of course you are.College is going to be a whole new experience compared to high school, and I just don’t want you to get hurt Naruto.The long distance thing is hard.”

Naruto broke eye contact to look at the ground, obviously thinking.About what Sasuke didn’t know, but how he’d choose between all the _wonderful_ things he’d said the last five minutes was a mystery.He didn’t think he could make it much worse at this point, but he kept quiet just in case.

Finally, Naruto looked back at him, “I just…wanna give this a try okay?”Sasuke felt like his heart was being squeezed in his chest.He was so not adept enough to handle this situation.He just wanted to communicate his love for Naruto, but he’d ended up bruising his feelings somehow.Looking into those blue eyes, Sasuke knew he couldn’t say no to his underlying question, nor could he put his feelings first in any way anymore.

Resignation settled like a brick in his stomach.“Of course, Naruto.What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t support you,” Sasuke said, his throat suddenly dry.His gaze caught on the bracelet on his wrist, and it eased his discomfort the slightest bit.Now he was stuck encouraging Naruto to date _some other guy_ , and _how_ did he even get himself in these situations.

 

Less than a month later, it was the night before their move in day.Sasuke was staying over at Naruto’s because _of course_ he was still finishing up his packing.All of Sasuke’s stuff was ready and loaded up in his parents’ cars for the next day, but Naruto was frantically packing the last of the stuff he was planning on taking.

“You know dobe, if you would have just started when I told you to, you wouldn’t still be packing,” Sasuke said, laying back on Naruto’s bed, watching him fill up plastic totes.

“Yeah, yeah, and if you were helping me right now instead of laying there and running your mouth, I’d be even closer to finishing,” he said between handfuls.Sasuke smirked at him.

“I already packed all the stuff you told me to.”

“What!?” Naruto’s head jerked to look over to where he was laying.“How have you packed it all and there are still totes left?”

“Because, _dobe,_ I actually folded the clothes and stacked things inside nicely.That’s how it works if you don’t just throw your things in the tubs.”

Naruto glanced into the container he had been filling, his things haphazardly tossed inside, before he shrugged, “well this is the last of my clothes, and then I only have some random small stuff that I can put in one of the totes you didn’t use.”

He seemed proud of himself, somehow.Sasuke just rolled his eyes, and continued to lay where he was.

“Are you excited?” He finally asked.

Naruto took a minute to answer him, probably wondering why Sasuke would be asking him of all people such a question.“Uh yeah, duh.Aren’t you?”

“About some parts,” he said, “I’m excited about living with you.”He was glad Naruto was looking away from him because he knew his cheeks were burning.Sasuke had been trying to flirt in small ways since his birthday, but it still made his stomach feel fluttery.It was weird because on one hand, he knew Naruto was his soulmate and that they were destined to be together, but on the other hand, they were _only_ best friends in the reality Naruto still lived in.Not to mention Gaara, who Sasuke had no real reason to dislike in Naruto’s mind. 

He finally swallowed his discomfort and sought out Naruto’s face.He was standing, his movements paused with his arms full of clothes, with a tender look on his face.

“You mean it Sas, really?”Sasuke just nodded his head, and held back his smile from Naruto’s reaction.Surely it couldn’t mean that much to him?“I’m so glad!” The blond said, dropping the clothes, and bouncing on his toes. 

“I thought for sure you were just dreading it, that you just didn’t wanna tell me no, that maybe…it might hurt our friendship in the long run if you felt trapped with me as your roommate,” Naruto finished, his eyes suspiciously shiny.

Sasuke’s eyes had gotten bigger the longer he had talked, “you’re not getting rid of me Naruto.Our friendship will be lifelong.”Sasuke had no doubt about that, at least. “That’s what this means to me,” he said, holding up his wrist and tapping the bracelet he was still wearing.He was definitely putting himself out there this time, and it made him feel vulnerable.Very un-Sasuke-Uchiha-like.

“Oh, I really am so glad,” Naruto said, bending to pick up the discarded items and trying to hide a sniff, “so…glad,” his voice was wobbling now, for sure.

“Dobe,” Sasuke said.He swore if Naruto started crying, he’d really be at the end of his emotional rope.

“It’s nothing, Sas.I’m just not used to you being so honest is all.I’m fine, promise,” he had turned away from Sasuke when he stood up, and now his voice was definitely thick with tears. 

Sasuke knew he needed to comfort him, that he should push through his own aversion.He also knew the best way to help the blond would be hugging him, but he just didn’t trust himself being that close to a vulnerable Naruto.He might offer more than just a hug and wouldn’t that only make everything worse.

Just when he was about to get up to offer anyway, Naruto stepped toward the door.“I’ll be back,” was all he said before he slipped out and down the hall.Sasuke was left standing in the middle of his room, knowing that he was failing to grasp some signal or something, but clueless as to what it actually was.

He yearned so badly for making Naruto understand, that it felt like his body was having an actual physical reaction.Like he was doing so well and then moments like this would come along, and they made him feel like he was drowning.

He stood for a moment, hoping that Naruto might come back quickly, but he eventually sat back on the bed.It looked like he’d have to accept defeat.Again.

 

The next morning, Sasuke laid awake in bed a full ten minutes giving himself a pep talk about not being awkward.It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, being full of memories of an entire life with a person who remembered none of them.All the inside jokes they had, all the feelings they’d shared, every first they’d gifted to each other.Sasuke had a level of comfort and intimacy in him for Naruto that he had no way of reciprocating. 

Sasuke couldn’t deny that it was his fault.Now, he was on a slippery slope of regret that he didn’t know how to correct.Even so, he refused to give up.It was for Naruto after all. 

Speaking of.

“Sasuke?” Naruto poked his head in to the room Sasuke had slept in, “are you up yet?”He rolled over to face the door and watched Naruto’s smile grow.

“Unfortunately,” he mumbled, but relieved nonetheless to have such an obliviously happy best friend.

“Come on, get up.You were the one who said you were excited yesterday,” Naruto said, flopping down at the foot of the bed.

“Yeah, I said I was excited about some parts,” Sasuke said, still bundled under the covers.

“Mhm being with me.”He rolled his eyes at Naruto’s confidence.He was sure he’d come to regret admitting that.“And guess what?Starting today, you get to be with me everyday. So let’s gooooo,” Naruto flopped over in front of Sasuke, and mirrored his position, as he drew out the end of his word.He failed to notice Sasuke’s eyes widening at how close their faces now were, and Sasuke couldn’t stop his surprised inhale.

Naruto just giggled, “I’ll only go away when you get up.”Did he mention oblivious?Because Naruto had no idea, but Sasuke would lay there all day if it meant they’d get to stay so close.In this life, it’d been a rare opportunity that he could study the pattern of blues in Naruto’s eyes or the way his eyelashes brushed his cheeks every time he blinked.But in his last life—

 

_He was studying Naruto’s surprised expression.They were laying almost identically, each on their side facing the other, close enough that their hands brushed in between them.Sasuke knew his own face was smiling, his heart so full of love, he thought it might give out._

_“You mean it Sasuke? You really want to do the soulmate bonding ceremony with me?”He watched tears gather in the corner of Naruto’s eyes, his lips pressed together and quivering down at the corners._

_“I’d not have anyone else.I want to spend every life I may live feeling so completely and sincerely loved as you have made me feel.Before you, I never knew I could trust someone with so much of myself.But now I never want to go a day without being able to give you the love you deserve,” Sasuke said, making Naruto’s eyes crinkle, and his tears roll free, “please say yes.”_

_“How could I ever say no,” Naruto said before surging forward and joining their mouths._

 

The memory ended as abruptly as the kiss began, and Sasuke jerked back at the suddenness.Reliving that, only to snap out of it and see Naruto’s face just as close as the memory, was almost painful.He could nearly feel the echo of their lips pressed together, and he could definitely feel the emotions overwhelming him.

“You okay?” Naruto asked when Sasuke immediately sat up and flung his covers off.

“I’m fine, just getting up now.”He just needed to get away from the situation.He hurriedly climbed out of bed and gathered up his stuff for a shower before leaving for the bathroom.

The second he was under the steaming water he let himself shudder.The memories were going to be the death of him.His current life was acting like a trigger and bringing them back up.He did this to himself, but it was too late to go back now.

 

He tried not to let his morning affect the rest of his day, but that turned out to be impossible.They had almost finished moving everything into their shared dorm room when Gaara showed up to help. 

It was worse for Sasuke because he had no real reason for disliking him.He knew Gaara really liked Naruto, and he seemed to be treating him well so far, but only Sasuke knew what he felt like inside.His parents didn’t even know who his soulmate was, and Itachi couldn’t get off work to come help them move, so he wasn’t there to offer any support.

It was unfair of him to treat Gaara poorly when, to everyone else, he was only his best friend’s new boyfriend.Sasuke made every effort he could to be normal and not let any of his feelings show.

That all came to an end, however, when everyone was leaving.They had each already said bye to their parents, so Sasuke was waiting for Naruto to say bye to Gaara.He’d made sure there was no way he could hear them, and he’d really been trying not to look at them.But then they moved really close, their faces tilted toward each other, and briefly connected lips.They’d _kissed_ while Sasuke watched, standing near the door to their building, wishing the entire day could be erased.And it hit him. 

He was really watching his soulmate pursue a relationship with a whole other person.This wasn't a joke, not a drill, nor was it, apparently, just a fling.His heart literally felt ground to dust.How was he going to survive this?

As he watched them smile and turn away from each other, his mind drifted to his uncle Madara.Maybe something similar happened to him, and he couldn’t deal with it either.Maybe Sasuke had unintentionally made that his own future. 

Maybe he’d never be happy, and the only person he had to blame was himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually do love Gaara, but no story has a point without conflict. Also, I love playful Naruto if you couldn't tell. 
> 
> I finally decided to make a side blog for my writing haelstromx . Its brand new so kinda bare, but I wanted it to exist in case anyone wanted to talk to me/ask me questions :) and i'll post when I update or create new stories too.
> 
> Anyway, your comments are giving me life, seriously, I get so excited seeing them. Thank you for reading!


	4. Visit from Itachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some parts of this feel rushed but idk how to fix it so. Have this :)

Sasuke almost made it to the end of the semester before Itachi intervened.He had finally caved over Thanksgiving break and told Itachi everything that was going on.His brother had already known about his decision not to tell Naruto right away, but Sasuke had been purposely vague surrounding Naruto and Gaara’s relationship, and he definitely hadn’t let on how much it was affecting him.

It was a regular thing now for Sasuke to imagine his life just like his uncle’s.He swung back and forth from thinking he was being dramatic and everything would work out, to thinking he’d have to spend his whole life with his soulmate just out of reach.

On top of all that, Naruto knew by now that something was up with Sasuke.They were roommates, so it wasn’t odd for them to spend large amounts of time together every day.Sasuke did his fair share of listening about Naruto’s life, which inevitably included his relationship, but he had almost completely limited talking about himself.His feelings about that fluctuated greatly too, and he was stressing himself out trying to keep up.On the surface, he knew that Naruto was his best friend and that Sasuke was obviously the person he would want to talk to about those things, but deep down his soul ached to be the one Naruto was in a relationship with.

At the beginning of the first week of December, Naruto told him Gaara was coming to spend the next Saturday with him and asked if Sasuke wanted to join.He’d panicked and said he couldn’t because Itachi was coming to take him to dinner, and there he’d created a problem for himself.Because even though he’d told Itachi everything that was happening,he’d not told him how he was imagining himself alone now or that he was isolating himself from Naruto.

So that Monday night, Sasuke had called Itachi and confessed _even more._ He knew it was bad to try and deal with everything on his own, but opening up was painful for him, and he didn’t like shoving his feelings off on others. Thankfully, Itachi offered to come that weekend before he could even ask, so at least he wouldn’t have to tag along with Naruto and Gaara.

 

Saturday morning he was woken up by Naruto cursing from across their dorm room.He wanted to sleep until Gaara picked Naruto up, so he didn’t have to deal with thoughts about them at all, but it didn’t look like that was happening.Sasuke took a deep breath and counted to ten before turning around to see what the blond could have possibly fucked up so early in the morning.The second he saw him though, his attitude was conveniently changed.

Naruto was standing in front of his closet with a dress shirt stuck halfway on, probably because it was still completely buttoned and he’d tried to put it on over his head.That was the least of Sasuke’s concern, however, because Naruto’s bottom half was only covered by one of the tiny cheap towels he’d bought to use at school.

It only covered him to mid thigh and it was haphazardly tucked to keep it from coming undone.Sasuke would never admit to how long he ignored Naruto’s struggle with the shirt in favor of watching him wiggle in that towel.His biggest concern was whether he actually wanted the towel to fall or if it’d be way too much for him to handle once it did.

He didn’t get to decide though before Naruto’s cursing turned to whining.

“Sasuukeee,” his voice was muffled by the shirt, but he couldn’t ignore him.It wasn’t until then that Sasuke also noticed it was _his_ dress shirt that was stuck on Naruto’s arms.

“Dobe, what the hell are you doing,” Sasuke answered, in no way indicating that he’d been awake at all.

“Well gee Sas, thought it’d be nice to tie myself up in a shirt for the day WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M DOING. Just come help me would ya.”

“Seems like a bad time to yell at someone, when you need their help.Besides, it’s stuck because it’s my shirt and you tried to put it on like a moron.”Sasuke made no move to get up.

“It takes too long to open the buttons.I always put them on this way.” Naruto’s voice was quickly turning back into a whine as he wiggled again in vain.Distracting.

Sasuke couldn’t help but laugh at the explanation only Naruto would think was logical.“Your shoulders are broader than mine, so my dress shirts will never fit you.”

“But you’re taller than me!Who cares now Sasuke, please just come pull it off.”

Sasuke threw off his covers and rolled his eyes even though he knew Naruto couldn’t see him, but he made sure to sigh as he stalked over so he still knew what a chore it was.

“Stop wiggling before your towel falls off,” Sasuke snapped.He was getting nowhere near Naruto if he was naked, that was a fact.

“Hurry up and help me, or I’ll make sure it does.”

“I’m not helping you if you’re naked, so you can sit in the shirt all day for all I care.”

“I’ll rip it.”

“Touché,” Sasuke stepped forward and started unbuttoning the shirt.There was no way he was trying to tug it off from the top because he’d have to lean against Naruto to do that, and leaning against only-in-a-towel Naruto wouldn’t be good for his health.

The second that the last button was free, Naruto’s arms fell to his sides, and he groaned in relief.“Thanks Sasuke, though the sass was unnecessary.”

“Hn.You’ll live.”Sasuke mumbled as he walked back to his bed.He wanted to sleep in that morning, but he guessed the view was worth it.Still, he crawled back under his covers and laid down.“Hang my shirt back up,” he said as an afterthought. 

He watched Naruto pick it up from the chair he’d tossed it over and do as he said before turning away and whipping the towel off.The noise that left Sasuke’s throat could only be described as a screech as he blushed straight to his hairline.

“Naruto!” He yelled, in no way prepared to pretend that he didn’t want to see his butt.

He couldn’t take his eyes off even when Naruto looked over his shoulder with a shit eating grin on his face.“It’s just an ass, Sas.Chill.”But he knew what he was doing.He knew they didn’t make a habit of being completely naked in front of each other.He also knew Naruto was just trying to embarrass him and in no way thought he was enticing Sasuke like he was.

The worst part was that Naruto just turned around and continued fishing clothes out of his closet, so Sasuke had to use his entire brain to peel his eyes away from an entire backside of tan skin.“Ugh I don’t like you,” Sasuke growled, after turning his entire body away.He couldn’t be too careful after all.

 

By the time Itachi actually got there, Naruto and Gaara had long since left.He’d only finished getting ready half an hour before because he’d taken a _long_ shower.A long shower definitely not spent thinking about Naruto’s butt. Or the way his back muscles flexed when he moved. Or—

“What’s wrong with you Sasuke?You just completely zoned out while I was talking.”

“Uhhh,” Sasuke couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t incriminate himself.Because he’d definitely not been thinking about Naruto, _again._

“Are you okay?You look a little flushed,” Itachi was actually concerned.Sasuke instantly felt guilty because it was definitely the time he’d spent under the hot water.He didn’t want to cause Itachi any unnecessary worry just because he was strung out on his blond roommate.

“I’m fine, sorry.We can go back to the dorm room.I don’t think they’re coming back until later anyway.”Itachi had taken him out to eat, and they’d gone to see a movie after.He knew Itachi had a talk planned for him, and he was kind of hoping it was advice he could actually follow.He felt so helpless over his situation that he’d welcome a solution even if it came in the form of a lecture.

 

Once they were inside, Itachi wasted no time.

“What in the world is going on with you Sasuke.Surely letting this go on so long is tearing you apart, it has to be.So what is the real problem?” Itachi’s voice was patient, but he maintained eye contact with Sasuke, so he knew he wouldn’t be accepting half answers.

“Honestly, I suck at pursuing, Itachi,” Sasuke’s irritation with himself spilled into his voice, “when I got to watch my memories from my past life, he was the one who went after me.I knew then it contrasted our way of doing things, and I know now that it still does.Uchiha or not, I’m not good at the chase, I’m awkward, and I prefer not to do it.”His body was stiff, he was standing, and gesturing with his hands, which only made him more irritated because it was very unlike him.

“And yet you chose not to show Naruto your memories right away.You placed yourself directly in the position of having to pursue him, Sasuke.”

All he could do was sigh and scrub his hands over his face.It wasn’t as if he hadn’t realized that already.He felt ages away from the decision he’d made just six months ago, and he definitely hadn’t planned for things to pan out this way.

“So if I am understanding correctly, you wanted him to choose you again, to pursue you in this life as well.You wanted him, in that way, to reassure you of his decision.It is so unlike you brother, to be insecure of yourself.Now look where you are,” dismay slowly leached into Itachi’s voice, making Sasuke’s stomach twist.

“I know, okay!” The tight control Sasuke normally held over his emotions snapped.It was too late for those feelings, the decision had been made, and he was in it now.He barely resisted the urge to pace in the tiny room.

Itachi’s gaze softened at his outburst, “you chose each other Sasuke.It should make you even more sure if he is the one who initiated things in your previous relationship.You’re torturing yourself, and I’d be willing to bet Naruto has done his fair share of suffering as well.You need to end this nonsense.” 

Sasuke had his doubts about Naruto’s suffering right now, seeing as he was the one in a happy relationship.He did have to admit he’d been selfish in his thinking now, in his attempt to soothe his insecurities.His wish not to force Naruto was of pure intention, but Sasuke was sure people were going to get hurt.

“I can’t show him now,” Sasuke said, “this relationship with Gaara, I’m sure has feelings involved.”

“Are you sure it’s the type of feelings that you’re thinking, though, Sasuke?”

“That doesn’t even matter because I can’t do it.I won’t be the one responsible for ending this relationship.I’ve really truly fucked this up by letting it get to where it is now, but I can’t go back.Either it comes to an end on it’s own, or…it doesn’t.” 

The weight of Sasuke’s words settled low in his stomach, and Itachi seemed to be thinking over his response.But Sasuke didn’t want to hear it, he couldn’t stand to talk about it anymore because he felt helpless.“But how is your search going,” Sasuke blurted out instead.

Itachi paused at his words before deciding he’d let their previous topic go, and for that Sasuke was thankful.“I’ve found nothing.I know they can’t be far, but I feel as though I’ve looked everywhere.Five years Sasuke, I’ve searched for five years.It is rather unheard of for it to take so long.”

Sasuke first recognized Itachi glazing over details of his soulmate.The distaste was a reflex, but it was quickly let go.Sasuke understood his wishes for privacy even if he himself didn’t have the same.Guilt followed on his next breath because of his brother’s obvious anguish.

Itachi had the second longest record for time spent searching for his soulmate, that Sasuke knew of, and it was obviously wearing on him.He was helpless in the matter even if he could know exactly who the person was.It was even worse because Sasuke had been given his soulmate all but on a silver platter and had still managed to botch things.His guilt grew at the same time that he was overwhelmed with love for his brother.Because he knew Itachi wouldn’t dream of ever throwing something like that up in his face, even if Sasuke deserved it.

“Don’t give up Itachi, you’ll find them.If for no other reason than because you deserve it more than anyone.I’m sorry I’ve been a selfish little brother lately, I hope you can forgive me,”the sincerity of Sasuke’s emotions rung in his voice even as love all but poured from his gaze.Itachi looked away, but Sasuke knew he understood.

“I’ll never give up, but I have been thinking about taking a break.To give myself a chance to just be, after all that time of constant looking wherever I go.”

“You can only do so much Itachi, they’ll understand.You have to take care of yourself.”Sasuke knew for a fact his brother had been pushing himself to find his soulmate.No matter where Itachi went, he was constantly scanning their surroundings in hopes of seeing them.Just a glimpse is all he would need, but he’d remained empty handed so far. 

Sasuke felt for his brother, could see his frustration at getting no reward for all of his effort, and understood his feeling of helplessness.The conversation came to an end in the comfortable way many siblings had, but both could guess at the other’s thoughts.It wasn’t often they went out of their way to discuss such an avoided topic as their feelings.

The silence that settled between them was short lived though, as the door was flung open and Naruto came into the room like the disaster he was.Loud and messy. 

The mood they had before vanished and was replaced with Naruto’s presence filling up the room.

“Itachi!” He said, his normal voice coming out inevitably as a yell.His arms were full, of a jacket, movie popcorn and a drink, and the keys he’d used to open their door.

“Naruto,” his brother answered, smiling in easy affection.Try as he might, Sasuke never understood the relationship the two had.The blond was absolute chaos and Itachi was meticulous in all things he did, but Naruto brought out a side of his brother that no one else did.It was endearing, and it made Sasuke’s heart thump funny in his chest every time he witnessed it.

“Did you guys have fun today ‘Tachi?Your brother’s been sad, I was hoping he’d talk to you about why since he hasn’t talked to me.I wish we all got to hang out.Next time you’ll have to come up a weekend when I’m free too.I mean I’m sure I’ll see you over winter break but still.I hope everything’s been going okay with your job.” 

Yeah, chaos.That’s all Sasuke could think to call that.And he didn’t like Naruto talking about him like he wasn’t there either.

“I will make sure I come up so we can all hang out Naruto.Did you happen to mention to my brother that you noticed he was sad or ask him why?He might tell youif you did,” Itachi answered, a chuckle in his voice.Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his brother because he was still standing _right there._

Naruto was moving around the room, discarding his things in places Sasuke would move them from later.“He hasn’t been talking to me much about his feelings anymore,” Naruto said, his eyes flicking to Sasuke, before settling back on Itachi.

“Guys seriously.” Sasuke may as well have been talking into the void.Itachi barely glanced at him.

“You know he gets like that when something is bothering him.I’m sure he didn’t even notice he was doing it.”

“Yeah, but still.He shouldn’t bottle it up,” Naruto said, ignoring Sasuke completely, “I just want to help.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Sasuke finally yelled.Naruto just gave him an exasperated look, but Itachi took that as his cue to leave.He stood up and glanced at them both.

“Just don’t be scared to show him _your_ feelings, Naruto,” Itachi smiled at him again while he moved toward the door.“Sorry Sasuke. Don’t forget to text me,” his brother said, before letting himself out.He’d effectively run from the situation.

Naruto couldn’t pretend not to see Sasuke’s glare now.“You guys always do that to me.”

“Yeah well, it’s not like I’d get any answers talking to you about it.I’m goofy, and kinda dumb, but I do understand when you make an effort to talk to me, ya know.I just don’t want to see you upset Sasuke, it matters to me.”

“I—“Sasuke felt emotions well up in the back of his throat.This day was too much from the second he’d woken up. “I’m just overwhelmed right now.That’s all.Please understand Naruto, I just need time okay?”

Naruto seemed to hesitate, words on the tip of his tongue, but he let them go.He nodded at Sasuke and dropped the whole conversation.It was like every day was just adding more onto Sasuke’s plate.He hated to disappoint those around him, but he couldn’t deal with so much at once.

It was constant worry.About Naruto’s feelings, his brother not being able to find his soulmate, the predicament he’d made of his own love life, and on top of all that he had to keep up with school.It was no wonder he was just pushing everything away.He was ready to just accept defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking that there will only be one or two more chapters to this. Sad day. But I am like 99% sure that I'll be writing an epilogue too. So there's that. 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed reading. I love comments and kudos as always!


	5. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make it two more chapters (obviously). I was trying to fit it all in one, but it was getting out of hand. There are so many parts of this I feel like I rewrote 100 times, so I just stopped where I was and split it. Hopefully, you enjoy anyway.

Nothing much had changed by the time the semester was over.Winter break came and Sasuke spent a good part of it with Naruto and Itachi, but he went out of his way to spend time by himself, too.He loved Naruto, like the comfortable, deep, mature kind of love that he knew would never waver, and most of him yearned to be with his soulmate every single day, but the other part of him recognized the strain he had been putting on himself.

Six months since he’d woken up to a another lifetime full of memories with Naruto and six months since he’d watched the person he was destined to be with give his time to another.His mental health was at stake, and he was finally taking the time to back up from the situation to better understand his options and how he wanted to handle his things.

Eventually, he figured that he’d have to distance himself from Naruto more as his relationship progressed.There was no way he would be able to watch love grow between his soulmate and someone else, not if he hoped to remain sane.It was a delicate game that Sasuke was already playing because Naruto was still his best friend, and in the reality that he lived in, there was no reason for Sasuke to stop being such.

He figured it would be a mental game, that he’d have to push away his feelings while still appearing to be mentally and physically available.It would be the only way he could accept not having everything that his soul yearned for.Sasuke, for how much he loved and wanted to be with Naruto, refused to be the cause of the end of his relationship.He couldn’t bear the weight of such a decision, wouldn’t risk Naruto carrying any resentment toward him for not letting the decision be his and Gaara’s.Acceptance was the only way Sasuke could move forward, so progress became his focus.

 

The next semester of school started better than the first.Sasuke had made some kind of fragile peace inside himself, and it acted as a buffer for his feelings.He felt like he was flying under the radar, that his feelings, though still there, were less intense.So every time he overheard Naruto giggling while he was on the phone with Gaara, his chest hurt a little less. Every time Gaara came to visit and he couldn’t avoid seeing their physical affection, jealousy burned a little less hot in his stomach.He was turning in on himself he knew, but with Naruto growing closer to his boyfriend, Sasuke couldn’t imagine him noticing.

When Naruto told him about planning a beach trip for spring break, he made sure to listen but kept himself otherwise uninvested.He was sitting at his desk in their dorm, trying to listen and do homework.

“Yeah Sasuke, so you have to come too!It’ll be so fun.You can invite Itachi and whoever really.I already invited a bunch of people.”

Sasuke’s eyes snapped up at that.Naruto thought he would come?He was sure he’d invited friends from their graduating class, but he really didn’t want to be with Gaara and Naruto more than he had to.“Who’s a bunch of people?”

“Uhhh Kiba and Hinata, Shikamaru and Temari, Ino and Sai, Shino, Lee, you know the whole group.I don’t wanna list them all,” Naruto said, swinging his legs over the side of his top bunk.

Sasuke wanted to facepalm but settled for just giving Naruto a look, “So it’s mostly couples going then? Like I’d wanna do that.”

“No!It’s not _mostly_ couples,” Naruto said, rolling his eyes, “don’t be like that.I’m trying to get a bunch of people.”Sasuke knew he didn’t have a good reason for saying no, but he also knew he did _not_ want to go.

“I’ll think about it,” Sasuke said, but Naruto knew that was code for _he definitely wasn’t going to think about it_.

 

By the time the actual trip rolled around, Naruto had barely just given up on coaxing Sasuke into going.It was only his new promise to himself that kept him from caving, that and the fact that he _knew_ it would be torture going to the beach with that many happy couples.So his spring break was all his own, but by the end of that week, Sasuke hadn’t been able to talk himself out of the tiny pinch of guilt he felt at refusing to go.

Every time he made an active step in putting even the smallest amount of emotional distance between them, the memories stored in his head and heart slammed into him full force.His bond wouldn’t let him forget just _how much_ he loved Naruto.So when Sunday came and Naruto was due back before too long, he’d finally decided he’d try and be excited to hear about how the trip went.It was the least he could do.

When he heard shuffling outside the door, he hurriedly saved his homework and shut his laptop.He immediately felt stupid because it was Naruto and why was he acting like this was such a big deal?After the week by himself, he definitely missed the blond, but he also just felt ready to really talk to him, whether it was misplaced guilt or something else he didn’t know.

When Sasuke heard the door open, he was momentarily dazzled by sun-brightened hair and glowing golden skin that made Naruto seem even more radiant than he normally was.It was so distracting that it took him a full minute to also notice the tears streaking shiny trails down his cheeks and the broken look on his face. 

The breath that Sasuke had sucked in raced right back out as he rushed from his chair to where Naruto was, standing in the middle of their room.Before he knew what he was doing, his hands were cupping Naruto’s face and he was wiping his tears with his thumbs.For a moment, their eyes locked, and Sasuke could feel familiarity welling up inside him alongside his need to comfort.

But eventually, he realized what he was doing and quickly dropped his hands.Naruto was so shocked his tears had completely stopped, and he was staring wide eyed at Sasuke.His arms twitched like he wanted to reach forward, but he curled his hands into fists instead.

“What’s wrong, Naruto?” Sasuke asked when Naruto hurled an angry look at him.He couldn’t have done anything to cause the tears, but that _look_. 

Naruto never answered him.He just dropped the rest of his stuff, spun around, and all but ran back out the door to their room. _What the fuck._

Less than five minutes Naruto had been back, and somehow Sasuke had already fucked things up.He didn’t even _do_ anything, like not really anyway.Sure he normally wouldn’t have wiped the blond’s tears, but surely…? 

There was nothing he could do now.Naruto was gone, he’d bolted from whatever feelings he was having, and Sasuke wasn’t going to chase him. 

 

The giddy feeling he’d had at seeing Naruto was long gone.He’d gotten into bed, tired of waiting to see when the blond would come home, but he couldn’t sleep.When he finally walked in, Sasuke felt relief flood his body.Sure Naruto was grown, but it was unlike him to stay out, probably walking campus alone, at almost midnight.The second he heard his key slide in the door, Sasuke pretended to be asleep.If Naruto had run away after he’d accidentally shown him affection, then he definitely wouldn’t care for the look of concern Sasuke knew he couldn’t hide.

He still didn’t know why Naruto had been crying in the first place although he guessed it might have to do with something that happened at the end of the trip.After what happened earlier, he didn’t think he’d be finding out anytime soon either.

Sasuke heard him change his clothes and climb onto his top bunk before he felt like he could open his eyes.All he could think about was how confused he was about everything.Like what was actually going on anymore with them?Everything was such a mess, and he knew he had to take the majority of the blame. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a sniffle up above him, and he felt his heart _break_.He was so helpless, like nothing he ever did was going to be good enough.Sasuke yearned so deeply for Naruto, to comfort him, to help him in whatever way he could.It felt like actual physical pain to be so close to him, yet not be able to help him at all. 

 

* * *

 

Five days.Almost an entire week.Sasuke listened to Naruto cry himself to sleep _every night_ for almost an _entire week_.He couldn’t take it. 

Sasuke knew Naruto had caught him looking at him, probably with worry written all over his face.How could he not when they’d barely spoken ten words since they’d come back from break.He wasn’t really sure what he’d done aside from, apparently, being inappropriately affectionate.Sasuke could beat himself up over that for days, but it wouldn’t take away the long thoughtful gazes he’d caught aimed his way, nor would it remedy the tears he’d watched Naruto fight back on multiple occasions.

Sasuke had this feeling that there was more going on than he could guess about.It couldn’t all be because he’d wiped Naruto’s tears, there _had_ to be something he was missing.Even if he took into account what Naruto had been crying about in the very first place, his behavior these last days seemed excessive, even for him.

So sitting in their dorm room after his last class, Sasuke resolved himself to finding out what was up.He wasn’t going to continue on the way things were.Already, he felt ridiculous that he’d used to much of his free time thinking about it.What he forgot to plan on, was Naruto’s new habit of staying out until well past dark.

By the time he’d gotten back to their shared room, Sasuke was once again laying in bed.His thoughts had kept him awake, so he prepared himself the second he heard Naruto’s key click into the lock.The door swung open, light from the hallway pouring in briefly, before it was closed again and the room was plunged back into darkness.

Sasuke thought he’d wait until Naruto stepped farther into the room to cut on his lamp and grill him, but the blond never moved.He stood right inside the door, enveloped in the dark, obviously assuming Sasuke was asleep.He heard a sniffle and a whimper and it was enough to push him over the edge.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said, his voice stern but beseeching still, “please.I need you to—oof.”He’d been in the process of sitting up, preparing himself to politely force the blond to tell him what the hell was going on when he’d found himself bowled over.Naruto had all but launched himself at Sasuke, knocking him onto his back again, and unabashedly burying his face into the Uchiha’s shirt.

For an awkward number of seconds, Sasuke was frozen in shock, his body stiff as the blond laid next to him on his inadequately sized bunk bed.When his mind caught up with his body, he made himself relax and acknowledge the man soaking his sleep shirt with tears.He was on his back with Naruto laying against his side, his head on Sasuke’s chest.It was _odd_ to say the least.

They had pretty much not spoken in a week and now they were sharing a moment that was…intimate?Technically, a level of intimacy that could be categorized as friendly but _still._

He couldn’t completely shake how awkward he felt, holding himself back from really settling into the embrace.He’d made so much progress keeping his feelings for Naruto locked up inside him, but the physical contact and seeking of comfort would no doubt erode that.Sasuke waited until he no longer felt the occasional wave of tremors that came with Naruto’s crying before he spoke.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said, speaking almost directly into his hair, “what is wrong with you.”He felt the blond tense up with the question.

There was a long pause before he answered, “nothing.”Sasuke barely refrained from huffing in annoyance.It was definitely something, and he couldn’t understand why Naruto would want to keep it from him while literally using him as his shoulder to cry on. 

It didn’t take long for his irritation to dissipate, though, because this was the first real interaction they’d had in a week, and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel relieved more than anything.He was in the process of thinking of something else to say when Naruto interrupted him.

“Can I sleep with you?” He said in a small voice, like he didn’t even want to acknowledge to himself that he was asking. 

Sasuke’s breath caught in his throat.He was definitely not ready for _that_ to come out of the blond’s mouth.Part of him thought it was a great idea, to get to sleep beside his soulmate and feel close to him all night.But the more rational side of him wanted to say no, because it was just too much for him to even begin to think about.He was supposed to be making it easier for himself to bottle up his feelings.

Sasuke must have paused too long because the blond moved to get up.In the split second he had to react, Sasuke panicked.

“Wait!It’s…fine.You can, I don’t mind.”Guess the decision was made.He felt more than saw Naruto hesitate before he rolled back over.The bed dipped as he fumbled with his shoes and finally kicked them off.Of course Naruto wouldn’t have bothered removing them when he walked in the door.Sasuke rolled his eyes, and found comfort in the fact that at least Naruto still acted like the dobe he knew and loved sometimes.

They both shifted until they were in a position as comfortable as they were probably going to get.It had been years, like more than five for sure, since they’d slept together, and their childhood sleep overs had stopped ending with them piled up in the same bed. 

Sasuke found himself drifting anyway, falling asleep slowly in the self aware way most people did when they weren’t completely comfortable.Right before his mind shut off though, he felt Naruto’s arm reach over him, the blond probably assuming he was asleep already. 

Sasuke made sure not to react to his questing hand, curiosity definitely his primary motivation, before he felt Naruto’s fingers graze across the leather bracelet on his wrist.He seemed to sigh in relief at finding it still on Sasuke’s arm, and contented himself with rubbing across the letters of the word etched there.

It was all Sasuke could do to keep himself from reacting even while his heart flopped quickly in his chest.Naruto was still his best friend despite the way they’d been acting lately.It made all the dumb shit they’d been through these last few months seem so small and insignificant, like it was just a blip on the timeline of living most of their lives together.

Warmth spread in his chest at the knowledge that Naruto found comfort in such a small symbol of their friendship.The blond’s actions reassured him that they definitely could make it through this, no matter how impossible things seemed.

It was no surprise at all that Sasuke fell asleep with a smile on his face.

 

The next morning Sasuke woke up to Naruto spooning against him from his chest to his toes, like it was the most natural thing in the world.In his half-awake state, he supposed it would be instinctive for them, though Naruto had no way of knowing that.Once his brain really registered their position though, he must have tensed because Naruto made a noise in his throat.

“I haven’t slept that good for days,” Naruto says, nonchalantly.He’d made no indication that he planned to move from the position they were in, so Sasuke was trying to force himself to be just as casual.Really all he could focus on, though, was Naruto’s arm wrapped tightly around his middle, and the fact that he must have woken up and decided to keep laying like they were.

“It’s like when I hurt deep inside, you make me feel better. Even when you’re mad at me,” Naruto continued.

Sasuke could barely wait for him to finish talking, “I’m not mad at you!” If he’d wanted to continue laying with Naruto any less, he would have turned around to make eye contact.Just to make sure his point was communicated properly.

“But, you haven’t talked to me.”

“Naruto, you ran away after you’d just gotten back.I thought _you_ were mad at _me.”_

“I was just…overwhelmed that’s all.I couldn’t deal with everything going on.My emotions were kinda…have kinda…been all over the place.”That was the understatement of the year.It was like his brain had just caught Naruto’s previous statement though because his stomach filled with butterflies.Sasuke made him feel better?It was impossible to hold back his grin at that.He was glad to be facing away.

“Are you ready to tell me why yet?”

“I—broke up with Gaara,” Naruto said, conveying multiple emotions at once.Sasuke instantly felt a thrill whip through him before he violently squashed it.Naruto was devastated by this if the last week was any indication.He’d be one awful friend if he let himself find anything positive about his soulmate’s broken heart. 

When he heard Naruto breathe in a shaky breath, he felt like a supreme asshole.This time, he definitely couldn’t keep from moving. Not if his dobe was upset.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Sasuke murmured, turning around to face the blond, and taking in the tears just beginning to spill over.He hesitated for a second before wrapping his arms around Naruto and cradling the back of his head, ruffling his fingers through his hair in an effort to lend comfort.

Sasuke really wasn’t good with words.He couldn’t think of anything to say that would take the hurt away, and he didn’t know enough about what happened to try and make Naruto feel better either, but he felt minutely reassured when the blond’s arms moved to return the hug. 

“Do you want to tell me why you broke up with him?” Sasuke asked.There was barely a pause before Naruto shook his head no. _Okay_.Maybe another time then.“I wish I knew how to make you feel better.”

Naruto let out a whimper at that and squeezed Sasuke tighter.“You _do_ make me feel better, Sasuke.”

He didn’t know if it was the effect of Naruto’s tears or what, but his words made Sasuke turn to absolute mush.Like all this time, he’d been hoping he could make a connection with Naruto before he showed him their memories, then everything had gone wrong all at once.

But now, the stress he’d been carrying around with him eased the smallest bit because it felt like an actual possibility.  He had hope after all those months of feeling like there was absolutely nothing he could do, that maybe…just maybe, everything could work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO finally some progress for the boys...maybe? I really wasn't planning on it taking this long for sweet things to happen, but here we are. 
> 
> Leave me some love if you like :D


	6. the kinda end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well we've made it to the last (official) chapter and I STRUGGLED writing most of it. idk why all my words just seemed wrong, BUT I've managed to somewhat tie things up, in a hopefully not-awful way. Over 8000 words later...there's fluff and smut and boys being idiots as always :)

After that day, it was like a new page had been turned in their friendship.They’d reached some kind of understanding, and Sasuke could laugh at how the new distance he’d slowly put between them crumbled before his eyes.When they weren’t in class, they could most likely be found together, whether it was grabbing food, studying, or hanging out with other friends.

Them sleeping together had turned out to be a one time thing, and Sasuke was kind of glad.Not that he didn’t want to sleep next to Naruto every night, but he needed to give his best friend time to heal.Of course he wanted to eventually confess but only after they took the necessary time to rebuild the crumbling parts of their friendship.

 

“Hey Sasuke,” Naruto said, on his way in the door to their room, “what are you doing later?” 

He’d been studying, but it was Friday and he had all weekend, so he shut his laptop.His classes ended at noon, the rest of his day was free, and Naruto knew that.“Nothing, why?”

“Sweet.So Neji and Lee are having a cookout at their apartment ‘cause the weather’s finally nice.We should go.All we have to do is bring hot dogs or whatever we want to eat.”Sasuke just raised an eyebrow at him, so he kept talking.“I just figured since you didn’t want to go to the beach, maybe you’d wanna go.I think they invited some of the same people.”

Sasuke managed to only sigh in his head, “ _fine_.”They’d been in college for almost a whole year and hadn’t managed to go to any parties.Granted Sasuke had been far from up to it, and their relationship had been pretty rocky but still.Even a cook out was something.

“Really!?” Naruto yelled. No surprise. “I didn’t think you’d actually say yes.You’re not joking right? You’ll really go?”

“Yeah?” Sasuke rolled his eyes.The blond overreacted to everything.

 

By the time they got there, the apartment was already full.There were people strewn about the main living area and out onto the patio and music was playing.Most had a beer in their hand, some had red cups, and there were two tables where people were playing games.To be fair, they were grilling food on the patio and some people did have plates.Still, Sasuke cut his eyes at Naruto.

“If it was going to be a party dobe, why didn’t you just say so?”

“Uhhh,” Naruto reached up to scratch his neck, making him look at least a little sheepish, “this _is_ just a cookout Sas.If you think this is a party, I’ll have to take you to a real one another time.”

“Hn.”So maybe he was the only one who hadn’t been to a party then.Sasuke really had no objections to them, he just hadn’t been focused through his first semester on anything but his own inner turmoil and actual school.But he was here now.

They made their way through the sea of people to go outside where Sasuke assumed either Lee or Neji was cooking.It turned out to be Lee.

“Lee doesn’t usually drink,” Naruto turned to whisper in his ear, “he gets…out of hand.”Sasuke had no problem imagining that.Lee was a lot to handle even without alcohol.

“Naruto!Sasuke!”Lee hollered, even louder than he would have without the music.

“Lee!” Naruto smiled and handed over their pack of hotdogs. 

“I’m glad you could make it.We are having so much fun.Even Neji.You should go say hi to him,” Lee said.He was happily flipping hot dogs and of course, wearing a “kiss the cook” apron.Sasuke almost cracked a smile.

“Yeah we’ll do that,” Naruto said, turning to go back inside, into the fray.“You want a drink?” He asked over his shoulder.Sasuke didn’t answer right away.“Lee can drive us back to campus later if you want.”Naruto was the one that suggested they take the bus to the nearby apartment complex, now Sasuke knew why.

“Yeah,” he finally answered.He didn’t want to try and figure out bus times if he was going to drink, even a little bit.There must have been an unsure lilt to his voice because Naruto looked over his shoulder again, to look into Sasuke’s eyes.“I want one,” he said, with more conviction.

“Okay well the beer is for everyone, liquor’s not,” Naruto said, pulling the refrigerator door open inside the tiny kitchen.Sasuke didn’t really care.He and Itachi had snuck and drank a beer once when they were small, and he didn’t think the taste could shock him too much after that.He wouldn’t be drinking much after all, probably just one.

Naruto pulled out two cans of cheap beer and handed one to Sasuke.He wasted no time in popping his own open and taking a long swig.When he looked back down and Sasuke hadn’t opened his, he grinned.

“You wanna taste mine first?” He teased.Sasuke sucked his teeth and drew his eyebrows together.

“I’ve had it before Naruto, stop being an ass.Since when are you an expert anyway,” Sasuke asked, his tone dripping in acid.To prove his point he opened his own can and took gulps, something only he could manage to make look graceful.Naruto was still grinning when he finished.

“I’ve been to way more parties than you so,” he shrugged.Sasuke wanted to mention that he hadn’t bothered to invite him, but he bit his tongue.He’s the one that had been purposely distant lately.

When Sasuke didn’t bother answering him, they went to involve themselves in a game.

 

 _Hours_ later they were seated side by side at one of the round tables set up in the living area.They were playing some form of poker, except whoever didn’t win the hand had to drink.It had seemed harmless when they sat down, but Sasuke was well into his fourth beer by now.He was admittedly _not_ sober, but Naruto had just as many as him.Sasuke glanced to the blond sitting beside him, and he looked no worse for the wear.Hn.

“Shino, you have to be cheating!” Naruto bellowed out, after they all lost _again._ Between Kiba and Shino, they’d really taken a beating.Naruto was losing the worst though, by far.

“You can get upset all you want, Naruto.It won’t change the fact that _you_ are the biggest loser here,” Shino said, his distinct cadence in no way affected by the alcohol he’d consumed.

“Yeah well, fuck you _and_ Kiba,” Naruto laughed.He didn’t actually care.He was arguing for sport.

But Kiba couldn't resist, “Yeah, yeah, you’re just pissed cause I made you my bottom bitch.”Naruto sucked in his breath so fast to respond that he choked on his spit.Not even his angry sputtering could cover up Sasuke’s obvious snort of laughter.“You think that’s funny Uchiha?” Kiba said, trying to pull him into the argument.

“Well yeah,” Sasuke said.He didn’t care that he was losing but being tipsy was giving him a level of brave nonchalance he would have never had otherwise.

“Care to tell us why?”Sasuke felt three pairs of eyes on him, waiting for his answer, but his calm was unshakable.

“Cause he’s not a bottom,” Sasuke shrugged, “technically he switches, but he tops more often.So he may be be your bitch…but not your _bottom_ bitch.”Sasuke hadn’t taken the time to think of the implications of what he was saying.He felt much too warm and relaxed to worry that he was sharing information that would be better left unsaid. 

It wasn’t until he took in Kiba’s mouth hanging open in shock and saw the pink riding high on Naruto’s cheeks, that he even realized what he’d said.It took _way_ too long for his intoxicated brain to realize he should have no way of knowing what he’d just told the entire table.

“Sasuke…” Naruto said, confusion plainly evident in his voice, but Kiba recovered quickly.

“Did you have sex with him?” He jabbed a finger in Sasuke’s direction, obviously addressing Naruto.Apparently tact was lost for all of them.

“No!” Naruto yelped.There was no hiding his blush now.

“Then how would he even know that?After what happened with Gaara, there’s no other way.”Sasuke’s head snapped up at that.His decision making skills may have been subpar at the moment, but he could hear just fine.

Anger flashed across Naruto’s face as he pushed himself back from the table.“You know what.Since you guys want to calmly discuss the personal details of MY life,” he glanced at Kiba, “some of which _I_ don’t even know how you know,” he glanced at Sasuke, “I’ll just excuse myself.It doesn’t seem like I’m needed anyway.”With that, Naruto disappeared into the throng of people before Sasuke could process his desire to follow him.

 _Damn_ it.He hadn’t even planned on drinking more than one beer and now he’d really fucked up.Not to mention that Kiba, of all people, knew why Naruto and Gaara had broken up when _he_ didn’t. 

Sasuke briefly heard Shino mutter, “idiots,” as he moved away from their game table.He had no trouble walking, but after half an hour of looking around the tiny apartment, he still couldn’t find Naruto.It took him a minute to decide that maybe he’dgone back to their dorm, and so Sasuke went off to find Lee and see if he would give him a ride home.

 

By the time he was dropped off in front of their building, the burning feeling of regret was settling uncomfortably in Sasuke’s stomach.How was he supposed to explain knowing details about Naruto’s sexual preferences when he only knew them himself from their interactions in his past life.Even if he did know how he could possibly explain that away, it would never excuse him from _sharing_ those details of his own volition.

As he strolled through their door into an empty dorm room, Sasuke felt his mental clarity creeping back over him.He knew he should stay up and face the questions Naruto was sure to have, but the second he stripped off his jeans and flopped onto his bed, he was dead to the world.

 

He had no idea how much later it was when he vaguely heard the door slam and did the syrupy swim back to consciousness.As soon as his brain caught up with his body being awake, Sasuke made the mistake of jerking up into a half sitting position.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” he heard Naruto say before the light was flipped on and he was _definitely_ blind now.His hands flew up to cover his eyes and he groaned at the brief feeling of looking into the sun.After the few seconds it took for his vision to adjust, he glanced up at Naruto.

He was standing in the middle of their room, dressed in the same clothes as the cook out, and he did _not_ looked thrilled by any means.It must have been very early in the morning because the sky still looked inky black outside their window.So where had Naruto gone?Sasuke knew he in no way deserved to ask questions, so he waited for the blond to speak again.

“Sasuke what the fuck,” Naruto finally said.Eloquent as always.He wanted to wince at the tone, but Sasuke knew he deserved at least a little anger.All he managed in answer was an uncomfortable shrug of his shoulders. 

He didn’t really know how to answer that question aside from caving and showing Naruto his memories.It didn’t really seem like the perfect time to do that right now, so…he shrugged.“You know what.We can forget you telling me how you know those things about me, but seriously.You needed to tell Kiba and Shino?” 

Sasuke could understand Naruto’s feelings because it had been _totally_ unexpected from his point of view.A double whammy of Sasuke not only knowing but also deciding to share without any kind of warning.It was disconcerting at best.But Naruto mentioning Kiba reminded Sasuke of what he’d learned just after his own revelation and—

“Kiba can know why you and Gaara broke up, but not that?” Oh no.He regretted saying that the second it left his lips. It wasn’t fair and Sasuke knew it, but there was no taking it back now.He watched the expression on Naruto’s face turn from shock back into irritation.His mouth opened and closed a couple times like he was going to say something and thought better of it.

Naruto laced his fingers behind his head and took a deep breath before turning to face away from him.Sasuke heard the breath leave him as a sigh, watched him drop his arms, and…nothing.Sasuke sat frozen on his bed watching Naruto’s back and waiting for him to—

“You know what Sasuke? Fine,” Naruto snapped, whirling back around, “I’ll tell you why I broke up with Gaara.”

He didn’t seem to want to do such a thing, but he continued anyway, “I’ll admit, the beginning of our relationship was odd because I knew, and so did you, that I wasn’t really dying to be with him.He was nice to me and I knew he genuinely liked me, so I thought I’d give it a try.”Naruto was walking back and forth across their room, pausing occasionally to look over at Sasuke.

“And it turned out really great.I wasn’t surprised he treated me so well, but I guess I wasn’t expecting myself to like him so quickly.Then we go on this spring break trip, and everything’s…perfect, right up until our last night there.” 

Sasuke can feel a lump gathering in the back of his throat at this point.Because he’s pretty sure he knows what Naruto’s about to tell him.

“We shared a room with Kiba and Hinata all week, but they had to go back a day early for something, so we had the room alone. And I just…couldn’t.” _WHAT._

It took Sasuke a whole minute to realize Naruto wasn’t going to say anything else.

“You couldn’t?” Sasuke asked.Because he thought he knew what Naruto was talking about, but he wanted to be sure.It must have been the wrong thing to say, though, because Naruto got agitated again.

“Yeah, I couldn’t Sasuke.I couldn’t have sex with him.My boyfriend of _eight_ months who treated me like gold and when it came down to it, I couldn’t do it.I wanted to do it, and then I couldn’t.I hurt his feelings, he felt like it was his fault, and I freaked.I broke up with him on the way home because I refused to do that to him.It wasn’t fair, and I _knew._ I knew that I’d never be able to do it.”Naruto’s voice wavered, thick with emotion, but he swallowed hard and kept going.

“And that’s when it clicked for me.I’m seriously just done with trying.I’m a mess inside, and I’m scared.I’m terrified to be alone Sasuke, but there’s nothing I can do.No one will ever be good enough.”

“But—”

“And you wanna know why, Sasuke? …Because of you.”

“Because of me.”

“Yes, because of you.For as long as I can remember, I’ve just wanted to be near you.You’re so… _fucking_ perfect.With your dumb hair and your stupid pretty face and how smart you are and how you never smile but when you _do._ Oh my g— _ugh_.HOW am I supposed to want _any_ one else?” 

Sasuke was scared to breathe as the rapid progression of Naruto’s emotions washed over him.Did—did he just?There’s no way he heard him right.His eyes were locked on Naruto’s face, so there was no missing the resignation in his expression.Sasuke was stunned.His heart was beating impossibly fast in his chest, and he knew if he didn’t breathe soon he was going to pass out.

Naruto had just…confessed.It was what Sasuke had wanted.Kind of.He surely hadn’t pictured it this way, the complete mess that they were, but he couldn’t change it now.Wouldn’t change it.But still.

Naruto was antsy.He looked like he didn’t want to pace, but he couldn’t stand still either.It looked like he was just uncomfortable in his own skin. When he really looked, Sasuke could see the hurt lingering behind all the other emotions pouring out of him.It was then that Sasuke realized how much he was really not okay.He felt _awful_ because all of this could have been avoided if he’d just—

Sasuke was immediately overwhelmed by the need to comfort.To try and love away the hurt that he’d inadvertently caused.It was reflexive for him to stand up and go to Naruto, and he was finally done burying those impulses.

It wasn’t until he was standing right in front of him that Naruto looked up to meet his gaze.His lips parted as if he were going to speak, but something in Sasuke’s expression must have stopped him.

“I, am _so_ sorry,” Sasuke said, the anguish in his voice clearly throwing Naruto off, “I feel like I’ve caused you so much pain by trying to do the opposite.I wanted to give you time and space to decide things on your own, and by doing that I’ve made you feel alone.I just want you to understand that this was never my intention, and I really hope you can forgive me, Naruto, once this is all over.I should have shown you sooner.”

Naruto’s brows were drawn in confusion, “I don’t really understand what you think is your fault Sasuke, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll forgive you.”

“No, no.Just…let me show you first,” Sasuke said.His stomach was churning with nerves, and it was absolutely not the way he wanted to finally show Naruto his memories, but he couldn’t keep letting this go on.Naruto deserved it to be a wonderful occasion, not one with misunderstanding and frustrated confessions, but there was nothing Sasuke could do.Showing him now was the only way.

“Show me…?”

“Just look in my eyes Naruto,” Sasuke said.The second they locked eyes, it was like a jolt tingling straight down Sasuke’s spine, and then he was no longer standing in their dorm room.

This time Sasuke felt like he was even more removed from what he could see.The memories he showed to Naruto belonged to him, and so Sasuke could only experience from his own perspective.All of the memories he’d watched that night so long ago, he replayed again, for his soulmate.

 

_Their first sleep over.When they stayed up late, and swapped secrets they’d never told anyone else.How he hadn’t wanted Naruto to leave the next day, but Naruto hugged him and promised they’d have more, and him leaving hadn’t seemed so bad after that._

 

 _How Sasuke had gone with Naruto’s family on vacation to the beach, and it was the first time they’d spent so much time together.They had their first fight, when they’d been there four days, and Naruto had gotten sand in their bed,_ again. _“I’m so glad you’re my best friend,” Naruto said, on their way home, and it was the first time for that too._

 

_The first time they stayed the night together after they told each other “I love you.”When none of their parents knew, and Naruto snuck into his room after everyone was asleep.How keeping quiet was a thrill, and it was a wonder no one could tell the next day from the ridiculous smiles they shared when they caught each other’s eye._

 

_When they bought their first house, after saving up for so long, and Naruto made them drive by every night to check on it for the entire month it took them to sign paperwork.Furniture shopping was a nightmare because everything had to be perfect and “no Naruto, just because it comes in orange doesn’t mean we should get it in orange” had to be said way too many times.But the day everything was moved in, and all the stress could be put behind them, they’d both looked at each other and smiled because they finally had something that was theirs._

 

_Each memory that replayed only did more to reinforce the regret pinched in Sasuke’s stomach.By the time the very last memory was winding down, him closing his eyes for the last time in that life, holding hands and making promises to Naruto, the strength of the love evident in that moment felt like a double edged sword._

 

When the memories ended, Sasuke barely had time to register the tears on both of their cheeks before he was completely enveloped by Naruto.It felt so right, like the culmination of everything he’d been working toward, that he didn’t resist burying his face against Naruto’s skin and letting the tears flow.

“Sasuke,” he finally said, not loosening his hold at all, “Sasuke, you are so precious to me, how could I not forgive you?You forget I know you.I have spent an entire lifetime learning you, and I understand.”

Sasuke could feel his tears soaking the collar of Naruto’s shirt, but he didn’t seem to even notice. _All_ of the weight he’d been carrying around this whole time, felt like it’d just been lifted off his shoulders.It was the biggest, most comforting relief of his life, and it left him feeling the gooey warmth of Naruto’s words like a soothing balm inside.

“Sasuke, I love you,” he said, in that deep raspy voice that made Sasuke’s knees weak, and that was it.He felt emotions well up inside him like a torrent.

“I love you _too_ ,” Sasuke cried, clinging tightly to Naruto.He felt like he couldn’t bear to be separated from him right then, so intense were his emotions that he rarely let himself feel.“I’m so sorry Naruto.It wasn’t supposed to be this way.Showing you your memories wasn’t supposed to happen in the middle of a fight.It’s supposed to be a happy thing and—”

“Shhh hey,” Naruto interrupted, pulling away enough to tilt Sasuke’s chin up to look at him, “I forgive you, sincerely.Forgive yourself, let it go.”Sasuke searched his eyes for any shred of dishonesty, but found none.It made tears prick the corners of his eyes again to think of how deeply he was loved.“Hey baby, don’t cry.Please no more, okay?”

Sasuke shook his head.How could he say no to that? 

“Good,” Naruto smiled before leaning forward and soothing his lips across Sasuke’s.He immediately felt himself melt into the kiss, a moan bubbling up from his chest to vibrate where their mouths were joined.He’d missed this _so_ much, had caught himself day dreaming about it on multiple occasions.

It was natural for him to tilt his head and deepen the kiss, to open his mouth when Naruto ran his tongue along his bottom lip.Before they got too far, though, Naruto was pulling back to look at him.

“You want me to love you, Sas?” He murmured, staying close enough that their noses were just brushing.Sasuke had no trouble understanding that he wasn’t talking about the feeling anymore.It was a pleasant rush just thinking about how in tune they were now after the realization of a lifetime spent loving one another.It only seemed natural to want to express that connection physically.

“Mhm,” was all Sasuke had to say.Naruto straightened up, pulled his shirt over his head and slipped his shoes off before diving back toward Sasuke’s smiling mouth. _The shoes,_ he thought and rolled his eyes, but they were already closed and his mouth melded with Naruto’s again. 

His lips were being devoured this time as if they hadn’t been tasted in years, and he guessed they really hadn’t _._ Naruto was suckling his lips and dipping his tongue in Sasuke’s mouth, warming him up so quickly, that he was surprised when he was backed up against their beds.Sasuke laughed in the back of his throat, and he felt Naruto smile against his lips.

“It’ll be our first time on a bunk bed, huh?” He chuckled, on the same page as Sasuke, of _course,_ before kissing along his jaw.Now that Naruto’s shirt was off, it was impossible to resist running his hands along his skin, tracing the dips between muscles on his back.When Sasuke got to the edge of his pants, he tucked his fingers underneath and teased his fingertips across the top of his butt.

Naruto grunted against his neck where he was no doubt sucking bruises into Sasuke’s skin.At the same time that he started working his hands around to undo the front of Naruto’s pants, the blond was trailing his fingers up Sasuke’s ribs, bunching his shirt up as he went.Eventually, they parted so Naruto could whip it over his head.

“Lay down,” he said between breaths.Sasuke crawled onto the bed and scooted back to watch Naruto strip out of his pants, his eyes trailing up his toned legs and abdomen, taking in his muscular shoulders and kiss swollen lips. Then his gaze moved back to linger on the outline of his half hard erection that he could see through Naruto’s boxers. 

“You want me to take these off now?” He asked.Sasuke must have looked too long, then.His attention snapped back up to Naruto’s face and took in his smug grin.

“Tch. _Yeah,_ dobe,” Sasuke said, dramatically rolling his eyes.Naruto caught his fingers in his waistband and made a show of slowly revealing the skin underneath, his grin never once faltering.By the time his boxers hit the floor, Sasuke had lost his shame in staring.“Spin.”

“What?”

Sasuke drew a circle in the air with his hand, “I said spin.If you could tease me with your ass five months ago, I think you can show it to me now.”The faintest bit of pink tinged Naruto’s cheeks as he faced away from Sasuke.

“You know, about that…” Naruto said over his shoulder, but Sasuke wasn’t focused on him.The way the blond’s broad shoulders tapered down to his hips, and all the tan muscle in between, had his attention instead.

“Yeah, yeah, you can say whatever you want.I know what you were doing.”

Naruto turned back around with a shrug, “you liked it.”

“I did.”

He gasped, the sound completely over-exaggerated. “Your turn,” Naruto said then, pointing at him.Sasuke bowed his hips up and tugged them off, not in the mood to drag it out like Naruto had.

Neither of them felt any insecurity.It was pointless when two people were soul bound and had really been together for as many years as they had.Instead, it was like the level of intimacy and comfort they had with one another just picked up where their memories left off.

Naruto had a lot of nerve pointing out Sasuke’s staring and then doing the same himself, but Sasuke played less fair.So he let his legs fall apart and watched Naruto’s mouth pop open to accommodate his ragged breathing.

“Thought you were gonna love me,” Sasuke said, the image of innocence.Naruto narrowed his eyes at that, his attention shifting back up to Sasuke’s face, but he made no comment as he climbed onto the bed, and settled quickly between his legs. 

That first touch of skin was like a match lighting a fire and Sasuke groaned unabashedly.Naruto seemed to pause to absorb the feeling a little longer before he leaned down to rub his lips back and forth across Sasuke’s.Eventually, he sucked Naruto’s bottom lip into his mouth, his hands rubbing slowly up and down his sides.

But it wasn't long before their tongues were tangling in each other’s mouths, Sasuke’s hands were gripped in Naruto’s hair, and that slow burn had started low in his belly. When Naruto resumed his trail of kisses down Sasuke’s neck, he couldn't help but run his nails over his scalp.With each kiss, he could feel the blond swirl his tongue against his skin and suck just long enough to set his nerves on fire.

His body was already extra sensitive because he never got touched that way, so by the time Naruto was ringing his tongue around Sasuke’s belly button, he was almost completely hard.As he moved lower, Sasuke just assumed he would take his time.So when Naruto licked a stripe from the base to the head of his dick and then sucked as much as he could handle in one go, Sasuke’s eyes flew open and his hands frantically twisted in the sheets.Pleasure shot through him like a spear and echoed vividly all the way to the tips of his toes.

“Naruto!” He yelped, but Naruto gave him no chance to recover.He kept going, without slacking off at all.Sensations were slamming into him so relentlessly it was like he could feel them searing down his nerves.Sasuke’s legs were trembling with each bob of that blond head, his toes curled almost painfully.Naruto’s suction was so strong, and his mouth was so warm, Sasuke was going to come fast enough to give himself whiplash if his pace didn’t slow down.

“Naruto _please,”_ he rushed out, “I’m gonna—”But all he did was flick his tongue in answer, and Sasuke’s hips almost bowed off the bed.His fists were trembling with how tightly they were squeezed, all his muscles tense in an effort to stave off the orgasm that he was racing toward.“I’m gonna come pleasepleaseplease I don’t wanna— _FUCK.”_

Naruto sucked as much of him down his throat as he could, at the same time that he used the pad of his thumb to stimulate his prostate from the outside.Sasuke was _done._ He felt Naruto swallow around him and he was coming, his muscles jerking at the suddenness and the lightning quick kind of pleasure that came with such a hurried climax.

Even after Naruto gently pulled off of him, he couldn’t control the occasional tremble of his muscles.His skin felt over-sensitized like any touch he felt was ten times stronger.Whimpering was the only answer he had for Naruto kissing his way back up his torso, especially when he decided to lave his tongue around each of Sasuke’s nipples in turn.

“Ahh! Naruto,” Sasuke complained weakly.He knew there was no way the blond was done with him, but he just needed…a break.

“You still taste so good baby.Sorry, I had to see.”Sasuke felt his dick twitch half-heartedly between his legs at that, and he groaned.Somehow Naruto always knew the right thing to say when it actually mattered.Smooth was not an adjective that Sasuke would ever associate with him, but when it came to getting physical, Naruto knew his way around.He hadn’t left Sasuke disappointed even when they’d stumbled through their actual first time, and now he’d had _years_ to learn his body like the back of his hand.

Sasuke’s limbs still felt heavy by the time Naruto’s lips found his again.The kiss this time was lazy and indulgent, they moved together fluidly with no intentions aside from the simple pleasure of the kiss. 

No matter their pace, though, Sasuke could feel Naruto’s erection hot and heavy against his thigh.He wanted to reciprocate, to at least give Naruto some form of relief, but when Sasuke tried to maneuver around, he resisted.

“I’m fine Sasuke,” Naruto said, “just let me worry about you.”

“But that’s not fair,” Sasuke huffed, craning his neck so Naruto could continue the line of kisses he’d started at his jaw.

“It’s what I want,” was all he said, but his tone told Sasuke to leave it alone.Fine.If that’s what Naruto wanted, then he wasn’t going to argue.There’d be plenty of other opportunities for them to switch roles another time.

Just when Sasuke felt like he was backing away from that almost painfully sensitive feeling, Naruto sat up and reach for the dresser beside the bed.It didn’t take him long to pull out a bottle of lube and shimmy his body back down between Sasuke’s legs.If it were any other person, he’d be mortally embarrassed, but he wasn’t scared of how exposed he felt with Naruto’s shoulders wedged between his spread thighs. 

Sasuke heard the lid of the bottle pop open and felt the slick tip of a finger circling his entrance seconds later.Despite how drained he felt, the second Naruto touched him, all of his muscles twitched in anticipation.His body was a traitor.

Naruto pushed in slowly, rotating his finger as he went, completely absorbed in his task. Sasuke could almost smirk at how enraptured he seemed, watching his finger be slowly swallowed in.Thankfully he took his time, slowly opening Sasuke up before adding another.Each deliberate slide made sure to brush against his prostate, just enough friction to start that heat spreading through his body.By the time he was working the third one inside, Sasuke could feel his erection coming back to life.

Naruto must have noticed too because he started massaging his sweet spot with more purpose and spreading his fingers with each dragging pull out.Soon, all Sasuke could hear was the blood pounding in his ears, his hips canting forward at each loss of Naruto’s fingers in an attempt to get them back faster.Surely, he wasn’t going to make him come like this too.

“ _Naruto_ ,” Sasuke said, warning clear in his voice.

“You want two or three?” he asked, completely serious, like he was handing out orgasms like candy.

“Two!”But instead of stopping, Naruto just slowed his movements to a caress.

He narrowed his eyes up at Sasuke, “you think I can’t make you have three?You know I can, I have before, re—“

“I remember,” Sasuke cried, desperation rising in his voice, because even Naruto’s gentle caresses were _just_ right. “P-please I just want you i-inside.”

His expression immediately darkened, his eyelids lowering as arousal bloomed across his face, “can’t argue with that then, baby.”

But Naruto took his time removing his fingers and getting up from his position between Sasuke’s legs.He sat back on his knees to retrieve the bottle of lube and coat himself with it, spreading the extra around Sasuke’s entrance and then wiping his hands on the sheets. 

“Ready?” Naruto finally asked, and Sasuke’s eyes snapped up from his now-shiny erection.

“ _Yes,”_ he said, unable to keep the impatience out of his tone.

And for once, Naruto actually listened.He crawled forward, leaving random kisses back to Sasuke’s lips before he lined himself up and started the treacherously slow slide in.He kept his mouth busy, running his tongue along the shell of Sasuke’s ear and suckling his earlobe, trying to make sure he stayed relaxed.It was an unhurried process, the stretch burned, but in a tolerable way.

When he was _finally_ all the way in, their hips warm against each other, Sasuke felt like sobbing.Because after all that time, they were together again in every way.Physically, emotionally, and mentally in sync in the a way only soulmates could be.For the rest of this life and any that came after, he never wanted anything else.

While Naruto waited for his body to adjust, he busied himself fluttering kisses over Sasuke’s face.His eyelids, his forehead, the very tip of his nose.It made him feel treasured, like he was precious and wanted and loved.Much like Naruto, he’d spent a while feeling lonely, and it was like each kiss was a promise that he’d never have to feel that way again.

When Sasuke finally felt his muscles relax around where they were joined, he nudged Naruto into moving.Even so, he could feel those blue eyes watching for every tiny change in his expression.Making sure that he really was comfortable.And after so much time spent _yearning,_ the feeling of being filled up was like the most pure, rapturous level of satisfaction.

Naruto pulled out to the very cusp, until his head caught on Sasuke’s rim, and then he thrust back in.He wasn’t rushing this time, his movements were steady and well-aimed, so Sasuke felt a wave of pleasure radiate all the way to his fingertips with every single thrust.It was like a well stoked fire, spreading heat like lava, leaving no area of Sasuke’s body without warmth.

Soon though, Naruto buried his face against Sasuke’s skin, and each thrust caused a tremor to go through him.Every plunge forward was coupled with a tiny moan he was trying to keep inside by clenching his teeth.He was holding back.Trying not to speed up the pace, but he was struggling.

On his next slide forward, Sasuke used his feet as leverage to press his hips up to meet Naruto’s quicker.

“Angh,” Naruto groaned, a shiver running down his spine, betraying the effort he was putting into controlling himself. “Sasuke,” Naruto said, chastising him with his own name. 

If he’d been any less determined, he would have smiled. But instead, “ _please_.”

“But you—I’m trying to—”Sasuke knew what he was trying to say.Naruto’s main focus was his comfort, and he didn’t want to compromise on that.

“I’m fine. Look at me,”Naruto pulled away from his neck, so he could see Sasuke’s expression, “I promise.”

Naruto looked into his eyes for a second longer before he seemed to be satisfied.He moved forward to nibble Sasuke’s lips and changed the angle of his hips.His next thrust sent sparks flying along Sasuke’s nerves, totally different from the gradually building sensation from before.It was all he could do to pull his knees back and absorb the waves of pleasure, one after the other, having no time to crash but instead compounding until he felt like he couldn't breathe.

The change in pace was startling, going from measured thrusts to their bodiesjolting together at a breakneck pace.Sasuke couldn’t find it in himself to care because of the sheer level of euphoria racing through his veins.His hands were frantically looking for purchase, his nails marking their way down Naruto’s back before clinging desperately to his sides.

Naruto kissed his way back toward Sasuke’s ear before burying his nose in his hair and taking as deep of a breath as he could manage.He released it as a groan and shifted so his lips were just barely touching his ear.

“I missed you so much.Us being connected like this,” Naruto’s voice was deliciously scratchy, his words punctuated by the smack of their hips, “mmm, my Sasuke.” With each word he spoke, his breath skimmed across Sasuke’s ear and the side of his neck. It sent chills tingling down his spine and stole his ability to hold back the broken wails ravaging his throat.

It seemed almost impossible how quickly he was approaching that edge, but his legs were already shaking.The muscles of his abdomen quivered with each thrust, every time his prostate was stroked delirious with impending gratification.His throat would be raw with the sobs being torn from him, but it was well earned.Even now he could feel the sticky perspiration clinging to Naruto’s skin as his muscles rippled tantalizingly under Sasuke’s fingertips.

His eyes were closed, but when he finally felt himself teetering on the edge, fulfillment staring him in the face, they snapped open.

“Naruto!” he cried.

“I know baby,” he soothed, and his eyes locked onto Sasuke’s, because that’s what he needed.He needed to feel swallowed up by those blue depths, where he found the kind of love that could span innumerable years.Where he saw the trust and acceptance he’d been craving since waking up with the memory of how they felt a lifetime ago.When their eyes were on each other, their connection was laid open and raw, completely uninhibited, and there was nothing else Sasuke wanted to think of when he finally tumbled over.

Naruto shifted so he could grab his hand and lace their fingers together.“I love you baby,” he whispered, his thumb moving to stroke across Sasuke’s, just as pleasure overtook him.

Sasuke felt tears prick the corners of his eyes as he yelled out Naruto’s name and all of his senses went blind.He was vaguely aware of the stuttering thrusts of his soulmate above him, of his own body being pumped full, but their twined hands kept him anchored.It was on them that he focused on his journey back to his body, as the high wore off, and the throbbing gush of ecstasy died down to a heavy feeling of gratification.

Naruto’s body was draped over his, a comfortable weight that lended security, and their sticky skin dragging together with each of their breaths.It was a while before either of them moved, but eventually Naruto did.He bent his knees and reared back, somehow managing not to pull out of Sasuke.

“Is there a—”

“My boxers should be behind you,” Sasuke said before he could even finish.A small smile spread on Naruto’s face as he turned around and grabbed them, from exactly where Sasuke said, and scooted them underneath him.Then he gently pulled away, not ashamed in the least to be watching his come dribble back out.

Sasuke couldn’t help but snort, “old habits die hard, huh,” and he watched Naruto grin as he undoubtedly thought of all the times he’d done that exact thing before, a lifetime ago.

“I had a dream about it once,” Naruto said, balling up the boxers and throwing them somewhere that was definitely _not_ the dirty clothes basket.He pretended not to see Sasuke’s scowl at that and got up to wet a wash cloth. “In this life, like a year ago.” 

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” he said, walking back to wipe Sasuke off, “I like it, ya know.Let’s just say—uh—it’ll be sticking with me.”

“Kinky bastard,” Sasuke said, making Naruto go hang the cloth up when he was done, instead of throwing that in the floor too.

He just shrugged and smiled, climbed back onto the bed, and laid on his side facing Sasuke.“But I’m your kinky bastard.”

“That you are.”Sasuke turned to mirror his position and aimed one of his rare smiles at him.So much had happened in the last day that it was almost too much to wrap his mind around.Even the last nine months were such a mess, everything that happened was almost surreal.

But now, laying on his tiny twin bed and sharing goofy smiles at who-knows-what-time in the morning, everything felt like it was actually back on track. He’d finally shared memories with his soulmate, despite everything stacked against him, so now they could look forward to building a life together.

Out of nowhere Naruto laughed, breaking him out of his thoughts, “I can’t believe you told Kiba not to call me his bottom bitch.”

“I drank four beers Naruto.I never drink.Besides, if you’re going to be anyone’s bottom bitch, it’ll be mine.”That only made the blond laugh harder.Sasuke just rolled his eyes and smiled.“I can’t believe you thought it was cool to just casually spoon with me after not talking to me for a week.”

That shut him up.

But his smile stayed, “I was _sad_ , Sasuke, and you let me anyway.Since you brought it up, though, let’s just put it on the record now.You better not ever wait to show me my memories again.”

“Oh believe me.I learned my lesson,” Sasuke said, and for some reason neither of them could stop smiling.Even though what they were talking about was anything but funny.“I really didn’t expect you to date _another_ guy though Naruto, honestly.I was just going to try and woo you before I showed you.Then you start going out with Gaara, whom you had told no every other time he’d asked.”

“Yeah, I told him no because I was so stuck up your ass I couldn’t see straight.And I’m not sure _why_ you thought you’d woo me, you’d never woo someone a day in your life, Sasuke,” Naruto said, laughing again.

Sasuke sucked his teeth, “shut up.”Naruto just kept on laughing while Sasuke pouted, eventually stopping to lean close and briefly kiss his lips.

“Fine Sas, we can pretend you’d woo me,” he said, but he couldn’t keep himself from giggling when he said it.

“Hn,” Sasuke pouted and turned away, but Naruto just wrapped his arm around his middle and pulled him back against him.He leaned forward and kissed the shell of Sasuke’s ear, the side, and then the back of his neck.He was easily forgiven, of course, but it served to shift the mood to a more somber one. 

They stayed quiet, both seemingly lost in their thoughts.Naruto eventually reached up to turn the lights off and settled back into the familiar embrace.

“Tell me a secret, Sasuke,” he finally whispered into the darkness.Sasuke didn’t have to think very hard, but he did take a minute to decide how he wanted to word his response.

“I can’t remember if I’ve managed to tell you before, but all of us in my family are discouraged from serious relationships before we turn 18.It would generally be a bad idea to get seriously involved with someone when you know on your birthday, you’ll be finding out who your actual soulmate is,” Sasuke paused, to let his words sink in.

“Our specific case is so rare, Naruto.To have known your soulmate almost your entire life and not have to go out searching for them.I don’t think I’ve heard of another story that the same thing happened.I was cautioned, just like all other Uchihas, not to have many relationships, and I took it so seriously.I was adamant that I would keep my feelings locked away until I could find my person.”Naruto shifted behind him, and moved so his face was just grazing the back of Sasuke’s neck.

“That thought process lasted until we were about fourteen.I was so in love with you by then, I couldn’t think straight.Everyday I’d come home from school and lay on my bed and tell myself ‘you have to stop this Sasuke.’I knew there’s no way you could be my soulmate, I couldn’t be that lucky.I also knew if I really let my feelings free, it’d kill me to have to let you go.”

“So I repressed them, convinced myself it was fine as just a deep friendship.Imagine my surprise, on the morning of my birthday, when it _was_ you.You were my soulmate.It all made sense after that, why I was so drawn to you our whole lives, and why even the stupidest things you did made me fall for you a little more.My heart knew all along, that you and I were destined, that our lives were to be intertwined forever.”Sasuke could feel Naruto smile where his lips were pressed against his skin.

“Does that count as a secret?That I’ve loved you all along even when I’ve tried not to?” 

“I’ll accept that,” Naruto said, his voice muffled.Even though Sasuke couldn’t see his smile, he found an answering grin on his face anyway. 

For his whole life ahead of him, Sasuke would have moments like this to look forward to.Them sharing a simple joy even after they’d made a royal mess of things.Growing even closer than they already were and learning how to face the world as a team for the second time.

Sasuke knew it wouldn’t all be a bed of roses, and that they’d inevitably face their hardships.But he also knew as long as Naruto was by his side, even the darkest times would have a little bit of light, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, don't kill me for ending with the cheesiest line ever. Also, the bottom bitch thing came from a movie and is a JOKE.  
> Anyway, I sincerely hope you've enjoyed reading. I already have ideas for two epilogue-like chapters that I want to try and write as one shots that can stand alone. They'd have smut in them, I'm sure, but it'd be the Naruto and Sasuke from this story later on in their lives. Let me know what you think!
> 
> As always, your support is appreciated :D and you can find me on tumblr at haelstromx just in case you want to yell at me, or laugh with me, or tell me secrets


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is the tiniest epilogue, and I know it's literally been forever since I uploaded the last chapter, but I finally felt motivated to tie this story up at least a little better. Hopefully this helps with some of the questions I've been getting in the comments. I feel pretty eh about it, but I thought it was better than putting it off for another couple of months :/

It wasn’t until they’d both finished their final tests and came home for the summer, that Sasuke informed everyone in his family.His mom was ecstatic, and insisted on having a cookout, an _actual_ cookout, so everyone else could meet Naruto.He’d already met many members of Sasuke’s family, but even still, he had a whole new title now.The blond’s place in his life was even more cemented, and he was sure many of them wanted the full story.

The last few months of school had given them plenty of time to talk through everything that happened from each other’s perspectives, not to mention the time spent apart that they had to catch up on.It was different than when others in his family had found their soulmates, simply because they were already very much a part of each other’s lives, but there were still inevitably things that hadn’t been discussed.They also didn’t have the same level of need to get reacquainted since they’d spent the last eight months living together, even if those months hadn’t _exactly_ been ideal.

Most soulmates, when they were finally reunited, spent days without leaving each other’s side.Just to get over the time apart, to rebuild trust and security, and to get the physical yearning out of their systems.While Naruto and Sasuke had _plenty_ of pent up frustration, they didn’t have to hole themselves away to not feel frantic at being separated.

Still, they’d never really gone back to sleeping separately, and they were pretty inseparable for the last month of school.Now, coming back home for the summer, they both felt comfortable with the idea of having to stay apart more often, though they’d undoubtedly be finding lots of time to have sleepovers.At the start of their next semester, they’d be moving off campus and getting an apartment together and there would be a lot less of a problem then. 

Of course Sasuke had told Itachi the very next day, about him finally sharing Naruto’s memories.He’d been happy for them of course, in the quiet way he had, but he’d also told Sasuke that he was taking a long vacation.That he was going to give himself a break from work and from looking for his soulmate, to think over some things.Sasuke hoped more than anything that his brother could find happiness now, too.

 

When the cookout finally rolled around, all the same people from his eighteenth birthday made sure to show up.It was a big deal for them to get to meet someone’s soulmate, since they would be together for the rest of their lives now, and they all hoped to hear at least some of their story.

It didn’t take long for Sasuke to be socialized out, and so he was sitting back, watching Naruto continue to mingle and share bits and pieces of what happened or talk about himself.Everyone had been very surprised about them having only met one lifetime ago, so they’d had lots of questions about that.Every once in a while Sasuke watched him glance around until their gazes would lock on each other, and then Naruto would go right back to whatever he was saying, like all he’d needed was a little moment of Sasuke’s attention.

But Sasuke’s phone vibrated in his pocket, so he must have missed the next time Naruto looked over, and he’d walked over to him instead.

“What’s got you looking so happy?” Naruto said, as he sat beside Sasuke.He knew he must have had a big stupid grin on his face as he read from his phone screen.

“I just got a text from Itachi,” Sasuke said, pausing as he reread the short message.

“Aaaand?”

“He found them.He found his soulmate.”

“What?!” Naruto yelled, “What’d he say?!”

“Ah, that’s what he said.He said, ‘I found them.’”

“But-but how can that be it?”Naruto’s eyes were wide, his mouth popped open in disbelief.

“Well uh it’s…honestly, it’s normally like that.Most of the time when we find our soulmates, we haven’t known them our whole life, Naruto.So you can imagine, after being apart for so long…I mean even we…right after I showed you,” Sasuke kind of trailed off.He knew his explanation was inept, but he was hoping that Naruto was understanding anyway, without him having to blurt it out.

“Wait.So you’re saying that…oh, OH.He’s _busy._ I understand now.Yeah, uh,” Naruto coughed into his hand, “I could see how they might, uh, need some time.”

Sasuke wasn’t even bothering to hold in his smirk, “so he must have found them on his break.The second he takes time off from looking, and there they are.Ironic.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just glad he finally did find them even if it wasn't when he was expecting them.”

“I know.It’s like a huge weight off my shoulders, not having to worry about him coming up empty handed now.I can’t even imagine how he feels, after all that time.”

“I can’t wait to meet them!I wonder what they’re like.Ooh your mom is going to want to have another get together.I wish we would have waited to have ours, so we could have done it together,” Naruto was smiling from ear to ear, talking animatedly.

“Yeah, I feel the same, but I think it will be nice for them to have their own thing too.Everyone will be extra excited to meet Itachi’s soulmate since it took him so long to find them.I bet they get married really soon.”

Naruto let out a little gasp beside him and then coughed because he’d obviously choked on his spit.Sasuke did nothing but raise his eyebrow in question.“Married?” was all he managed to wheeze out.

“Well, yeah?Why wouldn't they get married?” Sasuke asked.

“Because I thought they already were, right?”

“Ohhh,” Sasuke said, finally understanding, “they will get legally married.They aren’t expected to redo their soulmate binding vows, those will span eternity and never weaken.”Naruto managed to smile as the last of his coughs faded away.

“That’s what I was wondering.I’m sure I knew that, but I forget.So…we will get married again?”

“Was I mistaken in thinking so?” Sasuke asked, his gaze flicking to Naruto’s.

“No! No, that’s not what I meant.I just didn’t… well now that I’ve said it out loud. It seems kind of odd that we wouldn’t, but I just hadn’t thought about it.”

“I kind of assumed that it would be a while for us.We’re still in school, and the legality of it means little to me.We are bound even now for the rest of our current and future lives, nothing could ever be more important than that to me.Just like our bonding vows to each other will always be my fondest memory,” Sasuke said, leaning forward to rub his nose along Naruto’s, enjoying the contact that he’d never again be afraid to seek.

“It will always be my favorite too,” Naruto mumbled before inching forward and sealing their lips together.They only let the kiss deepen so far because of all the people around them that may or may not be paying attention, and also because it was still so easy to get swept away.  So it wasn’t long before they pulled away, but only until they were a few inches apart.

“There are a few others that make my list though,” Naruto said, his voice deep and unmistakably suggestive.

“Oh yeah?” Sasuke said, his eyes locking with the blond’s and alight with challenge.“Which ones might those be?”

“Mmm, I might be able to show you.They’re too good for words,” Naruto said quietly.He always knew how to make his words have an impact, and there was no confusing his intentions when he let his voice get low and gravelly.

Sasuke had just opened his mouth to respond and continue their playful banter when someone yelled Naruto’s name from across the room.He watched the blond’s eyes close in exasperation while he seemed to pull himself together.When he opened them again, he had a smile on his face.

“Later, baby,” he said, moving to get up and go to whoever had called him.

Sasuke couldn’t help but smile at his retreating back, his disappointment falling away.He was…okay.For the first time in what felt like _forever_ he had no pressing issues, no heavy negative emotions weighing him down.He and his soulmate were together, and his brother was happy. 

It was unbelievable that just over a month ago, he didn’t know how he would ever work anything out.He had problems stacked up around him with no plausible solutions, and now he was…free.Everything _had_ worked out, he’d come out the other side unscathed, and now he could focus on building another future with his soulmate.And as he sat back, watching Naruto laugh from across the room, he had no doubt in his mind that it would be bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo yeah. I still have other stories in mind in this same universe. Some are small, and I have some ideas that could be their own story. Either way, I hope this soothes some of your questions.


End file.
